By now, you’ve probably heard about Freddie Gray. On April 12th, the 25-year-old Baltimorean was apprehended after being chased on foot when he fled an area that police entered. The police determined his running was suspicious, and arrested him when they found a switchblade in his pocket. He was transported in a van, where he suffered a medical emergency and was taken to a hospital. He died a week later after extensive surgery, falling into a coma, and having an almost completely severed spine.
This weekend, people hit the streets to peacefully protest Freddie’s death and the issues of racism and police brutality. His funeral was held on Monday morning, and riots began shortly afterward. Most of the people involved in the riots were minors, and they became very violent. They turned over trash cans, looted from businesses and restaurants, and threw rocks and bricks at police officers. They set fire to cars and stores and showed no sign of letting up. The city had a severely ominous vibe as smoke and sirens became a consistent part of the landscape.
I’ve been really upset about everything, and one of the best ways I know to deal with my feelings is to write and talk about them, so that’s what I’m doing. I’m aware that my opinions might not be shared by you, and that’s okay, but I’m going to talk anyway. I’d also like to preface this with the fact that I am white and completely understand that I have not experienced prejudice and discrimination for my skin color on a first hand basis. I’ve witnessed it, and been aware of the complete inconsistencies around me, but I know that experiencing something personally is still a totally different battle. I am aware of the privilege I have of being white, and to quote Louis C.K., “I’m not saying that white is better, I’m saying that being white is clearly better”, i.e. Caucasians are treated better than other races in this country, and it is completely unfair.
A peaceful protest in Baltimore *
I’ve seen plenty of racism in Baltimore and beyond, from civilians and police. Sometimes I think the ignorance of racism is just as bad as the blatant variety, and by that I mean when someone is called on behaving in a racist way and don’t agree that what they’re doing is such. That just perpetuates the problem. I’ve seen a white and black person in the same illegal situation and get treated completely differently by cops. It’s absurd, and there’s no excuse for it. There’s an unnecessary amount of racial profiling and racism in law enforcement in Baltimore (and the rest of the country, let’s be real). However, this does not mean that all cops are bad.
Saying that all cops are corupt is like saying that all black people are criminals, and getting mad about only one of these umbrella stereotypes is hypocritical. It’s unfair to accuse someone of a crime or arrest them based on the color of their skin, just as it is unfair to revolt against an entire department in violence. Both sides of this fight are doing some terrible things wrong. I think a good example of this was when the rioters began throwing rocks at the cops and they literally threw them back. Seriously? Are we all ten years old?
People have a serious right to be furious about police brutality. It’s wrong, and there’s no wiggle room. Police should be there to protect us, not make us live in fear. It’s good that you’re angry about it, because without emotion there is no passion, and without passion there cannot be change. There are lots of ways to go about creating change, and maybe they don’t seem as quick or drastic as you would like them to be, but they do exist, and protesting in a peaceful fashion is one of them. Have you ever taken the time to actually research Gandhi’s life? Have you seen all of the miraculous progress he made without lifting a finger in violence? It’s possible. Maybe it’s less feasible in today’s world, but it’s not out of the question. But let me be clear: there is a difference between protesting and rioting.
I’m all for the people taking matters into their own hands. Lots of important change has been accomplished this way. But retaliating about the senseless murder and violence against black people by more senseless acts of violence is silly. It’s not helping anything. It’s taking away from the people who are peacefully protesting. It’s taking away from a day that should have been sacred for Freddie and his family (who specifically requested that there be no riots, especially on the day of his funeral). It’s taking away from the morale of the city. Destroying your home is not helping anyone. And those cops you’re throwing rocks at? Some of them just want you to be safe. Some of them joined the force to protect the masses and maintain order. Not everyone is evil. ALL lives matter.
I know you’re angry. I’m angry, too. But that doesn’t mean that setting a CVS on fire is the correct response. We all do shitty things when we’re enraged, but think before you act. Lighting that match is creating a state of hysteria. It’s damaging merchandise someone could have bought and taking money away from a company who did nothing to hurt you or this situation. Your neighbor might have to find a new job now while that building is being built because you couldn’t control yourself. That’s fucked up.
I sincerely hope that the violence that has already occurred is enough to draw attention to the change that needs to happen, and has needed to for a long time. Revolution does come at a price, and I am very grateful no one has died in the rioting. I just wish there was another way.
No one wants to hear what a white person has to say about this, and that’s kind of fair. I’m not the one who has to fear law enforcement everywhere I go. In fact, I’m so aware of the inconsistency that I know that I can get away with things like guerrilla art installations very easily because I’m just a white girl. I’ve been sewing a yarnbomb on a pole that is not my property while I watch a black man be stopped and frisked for no apparent reason. The system isn’t great, and there needs to be a change. I recognize that, and I am extremely sorry for the pain that is inflicted upon innocent people every single day.
On the first day of the protesting I made a garden with my friends in the neighborhood of Baltimore that Freddie was from. On the day of his funeral I held an impromptu muffin eating contest on a street corner (more to come). And for the rest of forever I will continue to write my love letter to Baltimore in the only way I know how, by doing fun stuff and interacting with my friends and community in unusual ways.
I love Baltimore. I always have and always will. I think we’re a lot more than blue crabs and “The Wire”, but this dangerous rioting isn’t helping anything, including our reputation. I want to protect the city I love. This is the city that gives me the sidewalks to etch “you are beautiful” in with chalk. This is the city that gives me the streets to drive down and explore. This is the city that gave me a rooftop to overlook it all and fall in love with a man in a way I didn’t know was possible. This is Charm City. This is the City That Bleeds. This is Baltimore, and I have a lot of fucking pride, love, and respect for it. I hope you can find it in you to pick up the pieces and rebuild stronger than before.
A lot more information, photos, and video footage can be found online about Freddie Gray’s arrest, death, funeral, and the subsequent protests and riots. If you need help obtaining any of this literature, please e-mail me and I will direct you to it.
* Photo Credit: Cristen Hoyt
You may also be interested in Baltimore Protests: A March For Love + Justice
I appreciate you writing this. I follow a ton of other bloggers on social media and none of them are saying anything about this. Maybe out of fear of losing followers or subscribers, because they don’t care, or for some other reason. As a black girl, you actually saying something, understanding privilege and actively trying toake your city better makes me happy. I want to agree with white people when they say “all lives matter” because in reality they should, but we both know some lives are valued over others. When we as black people say “black lives matter” we aren’t saying that your life as a white person doesn’t matter, we’re just standing up for ourselves. Great post.
Thank you so much, Lamesha. I wrote this post because I felt like I had a bit of a responsibility to as a Baltimore-based blogger, to calm myself down, and simply because I felt like it needed to be said. I appreciate your support on this, and as much as I wish we could say that race isn’t an issue, it clearly is and sweeping the issue under the rug or claiming “color blindness” does nothing helpful.
I really like that you addressed the “black lives matter” phrase, because I think that people really do get twisted up about it. It’s sad to me because it should be common sense by this point that all lives matter, but white people just use it as another excuse to feel like they are somehow being excluded, which we are not. (Same premise behind people getting mad that there is a Black History Month, “Where’s White History Month, man?” … uh, are you *kidding* me?)
In this world we have to make it known that black lives matter, which is unfortunate. But I promise you that they do, and I’m going to try to do my job of making my city a fun place for everyone forever. Thank you very very much for commenting.
I think you’re amazing for sticking with your city and not losing hope–in fact, doing the complete opposite! You’re letting the hate inspire you instead of beat you down. I’ve never been really good at fighting for what I believe in because I always felt like minds were too hard to change, but you have that power, and you keep telling the whole world that everyone has that power. It’s beautiful. Someday, something’s gonna change–things are already gradually changing and have been for quite a while–and it’s gonna be because of strong optimistically unshakeable people like you and the people you inspire everyday.
Thanks Carly. There’s actually a lot of people in Baltimore right now who are acting beautifully. There are still tons of peaceful protesters, there are people creating human shields in between the police and the rioters, as well as preventing the rioters from entering businesses to loot. There are hoards of people who have formed clean-up crews to restore the beauty to this city, and I’m literally crying just writing this list. THAT is beautiful. Things have been moving in the right direction for a while, and change is super slow on a societal level, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to allow for it to be stunted. We have to keep moving forward with change the same way we move forward with personal development. I love you, C.
I’ve always said I am thankful to be white. In times like this, more than ever. But yet, racism goes both ways. I live in a mostly white and mexican city, the area I am from had very few blacks. Yet I have been discriminated against and treated like shit for being white. I love your post and support you 100% and am proud to see a post about this. But there have been plenty of instance where white people have been treated terribly by other white cops and black cops. You don’t see that on the news anywhere. It’s sad how racism still exist but I fear all this is just making it worse. I feel everything that was done for racism has taken a major step back. It’s sad.
Thanks for commenting, Mae. I agree that racism goes both ways, in fact it goes ALL ways. Anyone can be racist against another group of people. Black people can be racist against white people, Indians can be racist against Mexicans. It’s all rooted in a personal prejudice, and it’s all wrong. I one thousand percent agree that it’s not okay, and that we need to do something about it so that this world can just LOVE EACH OTHER. The thing is, there are WAY more instances of racism from police against black people in our country, especially Baltimore, which is what I was trying to focus on. So that’s why I said what I said, and where I was coming from. Thanks for your support on this post, babe. Keep your head up.
What a beautiful love letter to a city that is in pain! I cried for Freddy and his family yesterday as I watched his funeral and prayed that there would be peace on the day that his family had to lay him to rest to be with the angels. Baltimore doesn’t accomplish anything by burning and looting. Martin would be so disappointed by the actions of a few – Continue the peaceful protect for justice. Black Lives Matter, White Lives Matter – the whole human race matters!
I think MLK would definitely be disappointed in this behavior, you’re right. And AMEN, the whole human race matters. If we could all just remember that, everything would be more than fine. Thanks for commenting!
Hi Mary,
You were one of the first people I thought of last night. Thanks for saying your piece. In the Northeast I’m pretty sheltered, but I just don’t understand destroying property or hurting people in protest. I also don’t understand the need to light cars on fire when you win a sports championship. I must just be naïve…
That lack of understanding has nothing to do with naivety or your geographical location. It’s just that you would never do something like that so the concept is foreign to you. Destroying property and hurting people is never okay, and it’s just that simple. Thank you for thinking of me, Mandy. I appreciate it. <3
Mary — thank you for writing this thoughtful and thought-provoking piece. It really is time people started a real conversation about all this. I agree with all the different points you made. I grew up in Dorchester, MA and had friends with all shades of skin from a very young kid. I have been shocked as an adult when out with my Black friends and seen the racism. I also have gone to buy a New Baby card or wedding anniversary card and had all I could find where white folks on them — which really isn’t cool for giving to a Black or Latin or Asian friend — and i live in SF — you’d think someone might notice things like this. Of course resorting to violence is never the right answer — for anyone — but we all need to start really talking about what is (and has been) going on in our culture/country. That’s for starting a conversation and I hope things are more peaceful there in your City soon.
You’re very welcome, Pamela. Thank you for commenting and for sharing it on Facebook.
I think that’s such a good point you made about the greeting cards. It’s like that with everything, really. Dolls, greeting cards. Even band-aids are labeled as “flesh” colored when they clearly don’t match the flesh of anyone darker than an olive complexion. If you’re white and that flesh-colored band-aid actually IS camouflage, it’s easier not to think about the fact that it’s pretty racist. But if you can’t find a band-aid as dark as your skin then you’re likely to notice it much earlier and easier. I think that’s a pretty good analogy or representation for racism in general. Until it affects you personally, it’s easier to let it slide past you without noticing, whether your intent is malicious or ignorant. <3
You are beautiful and you wrote a beautiful post.
Thanks Mim, I really appreciate the support.
I love you and your work Mary, and I agree with about 99% of this beautifully written piece. I don’t mean to criticise you in any way, but I think some of the best things happen when difficult conversations are had, and people provide different viewpoints in a calm and loving manner. So, with that in mind, I would just like to say that one of the main reasons that people turn to rioting is because often, it works. You need to do something that directly affects your oppressor for them to care. And while I don’t think violence is a positive thing, or what this world needs, sometimes it is better than peace, because oppressors do not care about peace. They care about things that affect them. I live in Cheltenham, England, and because I am someone who researches this issue regularly and thoroughly, I know that more people were killed in March 2015 by American police than have been killed by police in Britain since 1900. However, the only ones that I have heard about on/in British media, without doing more research myself, are the ones that have sparked riots. e.g. Michael Brown, Eric Garner, Antonio Martin etc. I don’t think rioting is a positive thing in itself, but it leads to international attention on the horrible things happening in America, and thus can start the process of doing something productive about these things. In England, women only got the vote (and not even all women) when we helped out in WW1. We needed to do something that directly helped men for them to value us. Conversely, many companies will only apologise for negative, bodyshaming ad-campaigns if they start to lose sales and good publicity because of the outrage that they spark. In both situations, it is doing something direct that either causes inconvenience or convenience for the oppressor.
Also important to note that while Martin Luther King and Gandhi were both pacifists, they were both assassinated. History has told black people and other oppressed groups that peaceful protest, while obviously the more desirable approach, leads to more violence and murder against those groups. I personally would choose to be peaceful in spite of that, but I can understand why that is not a good enough option for other people, and thus can understand why so many wronged people use violence to get their voice heard.
Again, I think your post and your message was beautiful, I just wanted to throw some thoughts out there to show another perspective, because understanding other people is an important and beautiful thing. Speaking of which you are an important and beautiful person, and I hope that you and your loved ones, as well as your wonderful city, can pull through this together. Lots of love xoxo
Thanks Jessica, I really appreciate how much thought you put into your comment. I actually totally agree with you. I think there’s an extremely valid reason to he angry and I understand that people are so angry that they are resorting to violence, and unfortunately it actually does take something terrible to get people of power to care and take notice enough to implement change. And like I said, I’m not experiencing the brunt of this horrible racism, brutality, and oppression and I can’t say with full certainty that if I was I wouldn’t think about reacting the way the rioters are. That said, it’s still very difficult for me to publicly endorse violence, and that’s why I didn’t necessarily address that part of the situation on my blog. It’s all a very tricky situation, with an enormous gray area. I really appreciate you continuing the conversation in a thoughtful and civil way. That is beautiful.
[More comments via Facebook]
Jessica: “Oh I totally understand that, and I don’t want to endorse violence either. I am legit one of those people who carries bugs (or gets someone else to carry bugs) out of the house rather than squish them. I only brought it up because people tend to demonise groups who take this approach to dealing with the issue, and while I 100% know that you weren’t doing that at all and never would, I always feel the need to show some empathy for the flip side of pacifism, because I think understanding and compassion are things we all need to cultivate, violent protesters and peaceful protestors alike. BTW, we had a peaceful march in my town against sexual assault and violence against women, and we are planning another one. I am TOTALLY gonna have to steal your muffin eating contest idea (with credit of course). Love your art, love this post, love your response. Keep on being rad!”
Me: “I agree. I definitely do not and did not intend to demonize this group, and I’m glad that came through. And I sincerely appreciate your assistance with making sure all sides are seen. This is in NO WAY a one-sided situation, and it’s extra important that we examine all angles and fully understand the issues.
I’m glad you guys are planning peaceful marches. Sexual assault/domestic violence is another terribly important issue that I’m passionate about, and I really support you guys doing that.”
Before I went to a news source on this, I checked your blog. Your love for your city is beautiful and this piece is very powerful. Thank you for being honest, intelligent and encouraging while addressing a difficult and complicated topic. Keep spreading the love all over your city and the internet! It’s contagious and badly needed in the world we live in. XOXO
Wow, I’m super honored that you came here first. I agree that this is all super complicated and hard. That’s a huge part of why I want to keep talking about it till I’m blue (and probably still sparkly) in the face. And don’t worry, I’m going to keep spreading as much as I can. Thank you very much, Olivia. <3