FAQ

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BASICS

How tall are you?  5’8

When is your birthday? June 21st

What zodiac sign are you? I identified as a Gemini-Cancer Cusp Baby until I had an official reading with Colin of Queer Cosmos, and realized that “Cusp Babies” don’t really technically apply to sun signs and only House Placements. So I was born the moment it transitioned to Cancer, and I am technically a Cancer Sun, but have 4 big placements in Gemini (including Rising, Venus, and Mercury) and still strongly identify with that energy, but as I get older also see the balance of Cancer.

What is your natural hair color? Brown, but it has been red for many years (I feel happier with it the brighter red it is)

Have you always been in Baltimore? For most of my life I lived just south of the city limits, but in June of 2017 I moved to south Baltimore.

Did you go to college? What for? I graduated from the University Of Maryland Baltimore County with my BA in Psychology in 2012.

Where did you work before you became a full-time blogger? At Arundel Lodge, Inc. It’s a psychiatric rehabilitation center, and I worked there for five years in the Day Program. I taught daily living skills and art classes to adults with mental illness, had a case load of clients I helped work through rehab goals, and hosted events among other things.

BLOGGING/BUSINESS

When did you start blogging? If we’re counting Livejournal, then 2003. I had a blogger account for years, but ended up deleting my posts and starting over “for real” in 2012.

Can I link to you/use one of your projects on my blog? Yes! Just give me credit and link back.

What kind of camera do you use? I used to use a Nikon D3300, but these days I just use the camera on my phone, a Samsung Galaxy 8 and edit with the A Color Story app. Most of my photos taken up until 2018 are taken by Maura Housley, though.

How did you publish a book? It was a long process! I wrote a post that will give you the basics here, and if you have further questions then you can e-mail me.

Do you have a side job? Nope! I tried doing a side job around 2017, but it just stressed me out more, and I realized with the time I was cashing in for hours I could use to create products and services for more money and less stress and at this point I doubt I’ll ever go back.

Can we collaborate? Sure! If you have an idea for a project, please e-mail me.

MENTAL HEALTH/SELF-LOVE

How are you so happy all the time? Short answer: I’m not. I’ve developed pretty great coping mechanisms over the past years, and my bounce back rate from sad experiences is getting shorter and shorter, but I do get sad. I also get angry, anxious, scared, and irrational. Read more about my experiences with happiness and mental health.

Have you always been fat? Nope! As a kid I struggled with my weight, but I started dancing rigorously in high school and also developed an eating disorder and became clinically underweight. I could do the splits, run a seven minute mile, and do a dozen different styles of dance. When I was about 20, I started a medication to treat one of my mental illnesses that made me start to gain weight, and that coupled with my newly drastically sedentary lifestyle in comparison made me gain a hundred pounds in a year and a half.

Are you healthy? Yep. I have to get my blood tested for my medication and everything is healthy on the inside. No diabetes, no high sugar levels. No drastic or unhealthy levels of anything, actually (but that’s really no one’s business. I find that people’s concern for my “health” isn’t genuine and is masked in fat stigma. No one, of any size, owes anyone an explanation of their health or lifestyle choices ever. Even if I did have diabetes or an abnormality in my blood test results, it wouldn’t make me less of an expert on mental health, self-love, or body positivity, and certainly not less deserving of self-worth or love. I only share this to say, “Hey, check yourself. If you’re really worried about my blood sugar levels, and you know that’s in check, please move along and look in the mirror about your own insecurities”.

How do you not care what other people think of you? If I did, I wouldn’t be able to do half the things that make me happy. I embrace my weirdness and honestly get excited about the fact that I’m different. I care about what a few people think of me. I don’t give a shit about what people think of me whose lives I don’t want to emulate.

What are your diagnoses? Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, Tourette’s Syndrome, Panic Disorder, Generalized Anxiety Disorder, C-PTSD, Bipolar (One) Disorder.

Are you a therapist? No, I’m not a licensed therapist. I have my associate’s and bachelor’s degrees in psychology and worked at a psychiatric rehabilitation center for five + years with over a hundred adults with severe mental illnesses. I’m very well versed with the clinical aspects of psychology as well as social work and helping with coping skills, and have worked for many years as a life coach, but I do not have a degree to practice medicine or conduct therapy. If you would like to check out my life coaching services, you can check out more information here and see praise and reviews for my work here.

UNCUSTOMARY BABES

What is the Uncustomary Babes? It’s a membership group you pay a monthly or yearly fee to get into and gain access to an exclusive online support group, where every month we focus on a theme in depth and you get immediate access to hundreds of archives that just keep building! Plus, upon signing up you get a membership card with the 10 Commandments Of Self-Love mailed to an online support group. There are two tiers of membership, All Star and Awesome, and you can learn more about them on the official membership page.

FAVORITES

Colors: Yellow and teal

Season: Autumn

Holiday: Halloween

Flowers: Sunflowers, Gerber Daisies, Desert Roses, Hydrangeas, Shasta Daisies, and pretty much all wildflowers

Stores: (For Plus Size/Everything:) ASOS, Forever 21, Target, Sears, Lane Bryant (bras) // (For Accessories:) Boohoo, BanDo, Claire’s

Genres: Comedy, Documentaries, Action, Drama, anything whimsical

TV shows: TV: It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia, What We Do In The Shadows, Arrested Development, Dollface, You’re The Worst, Grace & Frankie, Schitt’s Creek, The Mick, Dave, Children’s Hospital, The Eric Andre Show, LetterKenny, Brooklyn Nine-Nine, The Office, The Mindy Project, At Home With Amy Sedaris, Reno 911!, This Way Up, Sex And The City, Broad City, Girls, New Girl, 30 Rock, Parks And Recreation, Difficult People, Don’t Trust The B In Apartment 23, Gotham, Archer, The League, Workaholics, Party Down, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, Bob’s Burgers, Friends, Girlboss, Black Books, The IT Crowd, Billy On The Street, Legit, Space Force Whose Line Is It Anyway?.

Movies: Amelie, The Little Mermaid, Anchorman, Matilda, Harriet The Spy, Moonrise Kingdom, The Shape Of Water, Hook, Perks Of Being A Wallflower, Hocus Pocus, Tiny Furniture, Wet Hot American Summer, The Brothers Solomon, Beetlejuice, Clueless, Elf, Mean Girls, The Improv Everywhere Documentary, Antics Roadshow, Grey Gardens, The Birdcage, Out Cold, Pee Wee’s Big Adventure, Zoolander, Teen Witch, Hot Rod, The Long Dumb Road, Arthur, The Fundamentals Of Caring, Father’s Day, Practical Magic, How Do You Know, The Runaways.

What music do you listen to? Lots of alternative, indie, pop, and 90’s. Against Me!, Less Than Jake, The Mowgli’s, Jimmy Eat World, Jukebox The Ghost, Misterwives, The Menzingers, Red City Radio, The Gaslight Anthem, Iron Chic, Bleachers, The New Pornographers, Kesha, Rilo Kiley, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Grouplove, Beans On Toast, Frank Turner, Martha, The Pica Beats, Lorde, Florence + The Machine, Lady Gaga, Eve 6, Robyn, The Shins, Spoon, Oh Land, The Head And The Heart, Julia Michaels, Foxy Shazam, Vampire Weekend, Fifth Harmony, ,

Who are your favorite comedians? Russell Howard, George Carlin, John Mulaney, Eric Andre, Jenny Slate, Amy Schumer,  Beth Stelling, Tom Segura, Bill Burr, Russell Brand, Chelsea Peretti, Jim Jefferies, Jim Gaffigan, Chris Porter, Hannibal Buress, Patton Oswalt, Neal Brennan, Sarah Silverman, Kathleen Madigan, Bo Burnham, Tim Minchin, Iliza Shlesinger, Tig Notaro, Deon Cole, Fortune Feimster, Tiffany Haddish, Chris Rock, Rose Matafeo.

CREATIVITY

What made you want to start a daily gratitude/happy journal? Do you have any tips for starting my own? I loved the idea of having something tangible that was full of only positive things. It has been a wonderful decision that has left me feeling more appreciative and full of life. Read my how to guide.

How can I get started with guerrilla art in my city? See Guerrilla Art 101.

Where do you find inspiration? In other artists’ work, powerful women, and acts of kindness. I get surges of inspiration when I’m taking drives, at the top of the Ferris Wheel, and dancing on stage. Anyone who goes after what they want with gusto makes me want to do more with my life. Anything bright, sparkly, or related to balloons doesn’t hurt either.

How many penpals do you have? This answer varies based on what you want to know. I used to write to approximately 60 different people in various capacities. At this point in time, I have giant tubs of mail I need to respond to and have put snail mail on the back burner.

Where can I get penpals? Check out this post.

How much mail do you receive? I used get about 20-40 pieces of mail in my PO Box every week. These days it’s less than 10 a week.

Can I send you snail mail? Sure! My turn around time for response is usually extremely slow, unfortunately, though. I am currently in between post office boxes due to a strange clerical error, so if you really need or want to send me mail, please e-mail me.

RANDOM

How old are your cats? Giuseppe and Mitsy are siblings and were born in April 2020. My cat you might have been more familiar with was Bug, who was born in 2010 and died in 2019.

Do you have any tattoos or piercings? I have a tattoo of a mermaid on my left foot and a teal star on my right ankle. I have “11:11” on the inside of my left ring finger, and “A little magic can take you a long way” along the outer edge of my right foot. I have multiple piercings in my ears. Previously I have had my cartilage and belly button pierced, but they are now closed. I want many more tattoos.

Why do you never wear pants? They aren’t comfortable to me. Any time I decide to wear pants is followed by regret. My ideal outfit is a dress with no bra and cloth booty shorts underneath. It’s a 98% chance that you will see me in either a dress, skirt, leggings, or pajamas.

Who is on your laminated list?  Zooey Deschanel, Natasia Demetrio, Charlie Day, Jake Johnson, and Jared Keeso.

Are you straight? I identify as queer.

Will I really get glitter on me if I hang out with you? Yes. This is almost inevitable. (I don’t even throw it around, it just appears. I think I materialize it.)

Read Mary’s Praise & Reviews

More questions? E-mail me!