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Sexy and fat aren’t usually words we use in the same sentence. In general, if you’re fat you’re automatically considered to be unattractive and un-sexy. That is definitely not true, though, and these thoughts come from societal norms and unrealistic standards set by the media that you’re more than likely all too familiar with by now.

This is truly unfortunate because everyone deserves to feel sexy. And feeling sexy means you are sexy because if you feel sexy you exude confidence, and confidence is the sexiest quality in the entire world!

So how can you feel sexy while fat? (Keep in mind I don’t use fat as a derogatory word, just as a descriptor.) I’ve got a few tips for you!

How To Feel Sexy While Fat

Spend time naked

Often, if you’re overweight and uncomfortable with your body you hide parts of your body with clothes. You might even avoid the mirror in the bathroom before you step in the shower. Spending time with yourself sans clothing will boost your comfort with your body. You’ll probably feel silly and awkward at first, but it will become more natural over time. You don’t need to do it for hours, either! Just twenty minutes a day will do wonders.

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Have sex with someone who loves the way you look

Having sex can be a double-edged sword with confidence. It can make you feel incredibly confident and sexy because someone obviously wants to have sex with you, but it’s also an incredibly vulnerable state that can make you extra self conscious! My advice is to have sex with someone you are very comfortable with and is super attracted to you. Their obvious attraction will make you feel more at ease.

I also advise you to let yourself be fully and unapologetically turned on. Don’t forsake a move because you’re worried about the way a roll of fat on your back might look. Go for your the best sex you can have! Just because you weigh more doesn’t mean your body doesn’t work, trust me — it still does.

Work out

I don’t mean this as a tip to lose weight, I just mean to get up and moving because when you exercise you increase your endorphins and you feel happier. You will also have the satisfaction of knowing you’re currently doing something healthy for your body. And if losing weight is one of your personal goals, you’ll know you’re on your way to achieving it!

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Dress in a way that makes you feel sexy

I’m not going to tell you to “ditch the baggy clothes” and wear something more “form-fitting” if that’s not what you want to do. I will say that along with my advice of spending time naked, it can boost your confidence to go out in the world with something that hugs your curves instead of hides them can make you self conscious at first, but you’ll soon realize that nothing bad is actually going to happen as a result! It’s kind of like exposure therapy.

That being said, if that’s not something you want to do then you don’t have to! Being sexy is different for everyone, and that goes all the way down to your personal style. If you feel sexy in wide legged jeans, wear them! If you feel sexy in spandex, fill your closet with it! You deserve to feel sexy in your clothes, wahtever that means for you.

Have a boudoir photoshoot

Boudoir doesn’t automatically equal lingerie, you know. You can have a photoshoot that highlights your favorite qualities about yourself. That might be your laugh, sense of style, or your long legs; it’s different for everyone! The idea is to get someone to take photos of you in a safe space that produces images of you that make you realize how amazing and gorgeous you really are!

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Take a burlesque class

Going to burlesque classes were amazing because they not only taught the art of seduction, but they allowed you to figure out your personal brand of sexy! In one of my beginner classes, my teacher created an activity where she assigned each of us a persona outside of our comfort zone. To most people she said be funny or silly, and to me she said “Be classically sexy”. At first I was kind of offended at the idea of me having to try extra hard to be classically sexy, but now I know that my brand of sexy is fun, wild, and silly not necessarily subtle and seductive.

Another great thing about burlesque classes was I was forced to look into full length mirrors at my body and face for uncomfortable periods of time. Some of the activities instructed us simply to make facial expressions at ourselves in the mirror for the length of a song, or to move freely around the room while maintaining eye contact with ourselves in the mirror. It taught me how to be more comfortable with how I look and getting feedback from my teacher and classmates gave me a lot of confidence, too!

What do you think? Any more ideas? Really, feeling sexy while fat is the same as feeling sexy at any size. You just have to believe you’re as gorgeous as you really are, ignore negative stereotypes and commentary, and work on increasing your self confidence as much as you possibly can! Remember that confidence equals sexy.

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Want even more tips, tricks, and support with your journey of self love? Treat yourself to my e-course, Self Love: The Key To Happiness.