I used to just want to go to the UK to find a bunch of touristy stuff with my last name on them (like free monogrammed products!), but now I want to go so I can meet Sarah Starrs in person! She’s pretty incredible and talks about self love on her blog in a totally bad ass way. (You can also sign up for her eight week Daydream Revolution course— she’ll change your life!) Today, I’m excited to have her posting on boosting your self confidence!
Practical Steps for Becoming the Most Magically Confident Person You Know
Confidence seems like some elusive gift that some people are blessed with and others aren’t.
We’ve all met her: that wildly confident woman. She’s magnetic and joyous and her enthusiasm is infectious. You can’t help but be drawn to her as she enters the room and you’re always in awe of the intention and purpose she brings to creating the life she desires.
But here’s the secret: confidence is an art and anyone can learn it.
Think of it as a muscle you can exercise. The following steps are your daily confidence workouts and as you start using them, it will grow and grow.
When you start something new, view it as an experiment – just something you’re trying out for a little while to see how it goes. This takes off the pressure to be good at it right away and gives you the freedom to change directions if you want to down the line.
Cultivate small wins.
Confident people intentionally design and cultivate a life they love. But rather than focusing on making enormous, 180-degree changes, think about the small items you can tick off your to-do list and the tiny shifts you can make to start building confidence in your abilities.
Positivity is infectious and it effects our perception of ourselves and the situation at hand. Instead of saying you “like” a cake, explain in vivid detail all of the reasons you enjoy it. When an exciting opportunity comes up, leap on it instead of adopting a boring “whatever forever” attitude. Your enthusiasm will make you a joy to be around but it will also naturally bring a sense of confidence to your actions.
Keep a running list of your accomplishments.
At the end of each week, sit down and physical write out every thing – big and small – that you achieved. Recognizing and celebrating our accomplishments means that we really internalize them.
Be curious & willing to admit to what you don’t know.
Nope, I don’t want you to fake it ‘till you make it. When we admit what we don’t know, we give ourselves the opportunity to learn. It also takes a certain type of confidence to acknowledge our own limitations.
Identify your power triggers.
Some things naturally make us feel more confident. Dancing wildly to our favourite songs. Watching a hilarious stand-up act. Reading something really inspiring. Having a super deep conversation. Think back on the times that you’ve felt most confident and identify what you did before, during, and after that helped you feel like that.
Speak your fears.
When we speak our fears out loud, we begin to take away their power. Often all it takes is to tell someone else how we’re feeling to make the fear begin to dissipate.
I want you to have a clear action plan to start increasing your confidence (I’m ALL about mixing genuine inspiration with practical advice), so I’ve created a list of 25 confidence boosts. Each of them represents a small action that you could undertake today to feel more in control of your emotions, draw on your inner strength, and recognize what a total badass you are.
Pick one and tick it off. Consider printing it out to hang on your wall for inspiration or keep it in your wallet for when you need a little boost. Can you complete each of them this year? What about this month? Imagine how different you’ll feel about yourself if you do!
1. Celebrate your small wins -whether it’s a good hair day or ticking something tricky off of your to-do list. Pop a bottle of bubbly, buy your favourite fancy coffee, or just bask in that good feeling.
2. Purge your wardrobe of anything that doesn’t fit or make you feel fabulous.
3. Unfollow any blogs or Twitter accounts that trigger comparisonitis and make you feel less than.
4. Write a weekly list of everything you’ve accomplished in the past 7 days, no matter how small.
5. Learn to cook a signature dish that you can serve when you have friends over or go to a potluck.
6. Teach someone something you’ve learned recently.
7. Practice saying “no” to commitments or social invites that don’t feel good to you.
8. Stop hanging out with anyone who doesn’t lift you up.
9. Write in your journal about what you want your life to look like and then identify small steps you can take to start bringing that to life.
10. Find a counsellor or psychologist to talk to help you work through your insecurities.
11. Review your goals regularly and chart your progress.
12. Do something from your to-do list that you’ve been avoiding for a long time.
13. Ask for help with something you’ve been struggling with.
14. Practice giving and receiving compliments generously.
15. Buy clothes that fit you and make you feel like a badass.
16. Attend a workshop or take a course in something you’d like to improve in.
17. Make a daily list of the three things you want to accomplish and focus on them before anything else.
18. Get your finances in order and monitor your bank account regularly. If you don’t know where to start, read a book or take a course on personal finances.
19. Create a daily ritual ritual of practicing something you want to get better at.
20. Make a habit of “eating the frog”: do the most difficult and important task of the day before starting anything else.
21. Surround yourself with people who help you feel like your best self.
22. Clean and organise your space – you’ll feel more prepared to get things done.
23. Tell someone about the thing you’ve been holding in because you’re scared shitless.
24. Volunteer regularly.
25. Complete a mini creative project – make a zine, play with paint, or write a one act play. Extra credit: share it with someone.
If there’s a bigger-than-life, can’t-get-it-out-of-your-head, fills-your-heart-with-joy dream that you just haven’t worked up the nerve to take action on, I’ve created something for you. My FREE, 7-day Dream Wrangler video training teaches the exact strategies I use to work towards my big goals. I applied these steps to launch my first magazine, move across the world, and start my own business. It will teach you how to break your dream into manageable steps, figure out how you’re going to afford it, and raise your confidence so that you can follow through.
Just remember: you don’t have to TRY to be that magnetic, confident woman. You already are. When you take inspired action, you’ll let her out to dance in the world.
Sarah Starrs is a Writer and Coach who helps women get their shit together and create a life they love. It’s self-help for badass babes. She’s the host of the Punk Rock Personal Development podcast and creator of The Daydream Revolution ecourse. Her free, 7-day video training will help you get clear on how you can achieve that larger than life goal you can’t stop dreaming about.
Sarah is sending you love across cyber space. Visit her blog and be her friend on Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, and Facebook! In the comments, Sarah would love to know what area of your life could use a little confidence boost? What dream would you start chasing if confidence wasn’t an issue?
I really like that you state to keep a running list of all the accomplishments! I think this is super important.
I agree. I actually make a list at the end of December of all the things I got to do that year, example here.