Hey everyone, it’s been a long time. I’m sorry for the radio silence. This summer has kind of been the worst one of my life. I don’t want to bore you with too many details, so I’ll just give you the highlights.
In June I started feeling depressed for no specific reason, then I had to go to the hospital in an ambulance for upper abdominal pain which the doctors weren’t able to identify. In the beginning of July, I was T-boned by an SUV which not only caused a bunch of physical issues, but I also had to deal with the biggest line-up of incompetent professionals in the aftermath admin aspects of the accident. Everyone from insurance agents to police officers to doctors to rental car associates just seemed to have no idea how to handle my circumstances, and it made everything get drawn out ten times longer than it needed to be. Post accident stress enhanced my depression significantly, and I had to basically stop working in all aspects. By August, my symptoms were so bad my doctor officially “upgraded” my “Mood Disorder NOS” diagnosis to Bipolar II and started me on a mood stabilizer in addition to all of my other medications. I’m nearing the end of the second week of taking that new med and it’s finally starting to get into my blood stream, making me feel slightly better (but also incredibly tired).
There’s been a bunch of other little stuff, but those are the main things I wanted you to be aware of. I know there are worse things to go through, and I’m very lucky to have the resources available to me like rental cars, insurance, and a support system to get me through times like these. I mostly just wanted to provide an explanation for me going off the map. Things like the Snail Mail Game Show, Puzzle Art Project, and Snail Mail E-Course have gotten pushed back, and obviously so did blogging. I haven’t even done a Weekly Happiness post like this one in five weeks. Insanity! I’ve tried to stay active on social media like Instagram, but I miss providing content to you all.
It seems hypocritical to spend so much of a Weekly Happiness post talking about negative things, but this is the place where I give you personal updates and you deserved an explanation. I also like to be as transparent as possible, especially when it comes to mental health because we don’t talk enough about it in our society. Bipolar disorder isn’t uncommon, but it is stigmatized like many other mental illnesses. I’m not sad that I have this new diagnosis attached to my person and psychological face sheet. It’s just a new part of me that’s been discovered, and I will take it in stride and love and care for it the way I have with anything else.
My wish for all of you is that when you’re dealing with an issue you stay gentle. Be kind to yourself the way you would to your friends. You’re not failing, you’re learning and growing. You’re discovering parts of yourself you might not have known about. You’re figuring out how to conquer new problems. But you are not a problem or a failure. You are a beautiful person and you will get through this. My goal is to help you get through it with love, color, and sparkle.
Here’s some photos of the good things I was able to experience over the past five weeks. It’s crazy how little photos I’ve taken in such a large period of time, but it’s easy to ignore things that make you happy when you’re depressed. Do your best to try to make time for the things you know your healthy mind loves, and it will help the sick part feel better.
Thanks for listening.
What’s on your happiness list this week?