Abandonment issues are more common than you might think. Usually, they begin in childhood if a caregiver doesn’t provide you with the attention you need to function. Still, they can also emerge in adult life, particularly if you’ve been through a traumatic event. Something inside you finds it more challenging to make healthy attachments, and you struggle with relationships.
In this post, we’re going to take a look at some of the telltale signs that you might have abandonment issues and what you can do about them.
You Attach To Your Partners Too Fast
One of the hallmarks of a person with abandonment issues is their tendency to attack to partners too rapidly. The moment you go on a date with something, you feel as though you’re in a relationship. While the other person is testing the waters, you’re in full boyfriend or girlfriend mode.
The problem with this is that it can ultimately end up scaring them away. People don’t usually like to commit immediately. For many, it takes time to work out whether they have found the right person for them. Just jumping in and hoping for the best isn’t the way the majority of people like to operate.
You Stay In Unhealthy Relationships
People with abandonment issues don’t like to let go of relationships when they come along. They don’t want a repeat of the trauma they experienced at an earlier point in their lives, and so they’ll do anything they can to avoid it.
Nobody is saying that you need to find the “perfect partner.” Such a thing probably doesn’t exist in this oh-so-imperfect world of ours. “Good enough” should suffice for most. But staying in an unhealthy relationship full of abuse is a big no-no when it comes to your happiness. It’s not worth it. People with abandonment issues, though, will do precisely that: stay attached to people who make their lives a misery.
You Struggle With Trust
People with borderline personality disorder disability tend to struggle with abandonment issues. One of the reasons for this is the belief that a partner could just up sticks at any point and move on.
While this is true of all things in life, for somebody with a fear of abandonment, it is an ever-present threat. They always worry that the person they’re with is going to leave them for somebody else – somebody better.
You try to tell yourself that your partner will be faithful and that you can trust them not to betray you, but your fear always seems to win out. The lack of trust you have in them ultimately undermines the partnership, and they leave anyway because they’re tired of not being trusted. It’s a vicious cycle.
So what can you do if you have abandonment issues? The best approach is to visit a therapist and discuss the matter with them. Therapeutic interventions can help you manage symptoms and chip away at the roots of the problem, dealing with your issues as and when they crop up.