Guest Post: The Skull Bank
At this point, I’m honestly not even sure how long I’ve been exchanging mail with Trine. All I know is receiving something from her in my mailbox is pure magic. Asking her to guest post was a no brainer, and I’m really thrilled with what she’s written for you.
Hi, it’s nice to meet you all! I’m Trine; a 31 year old Norwegian who’s working on getting her bachelors degree in Social Studies (I’m currently on my second year). So, what am I doing here then, you ask? Well, the wonderful Mary, who created this creative and inspirational mekka for all of us, asked me to do a guest post. And I have to say; I am thankful and happy to be part of this, Mary. You’ve such a generous and colourful spirit, and the world is a better place with you in it.
And that is what I wanna write about; the fact that the world is a better place with YOU in it. You, who is currently reading these words. And I’m not sure how this text is going to pan out yet, by the way. It is most likely going to take some twists here, and some turns there, before (hopefully) coming together in something meaningful. So, let’s see how this goes!
This is me
12 years ago, a doctor told me, that the best I could ever hope for in my life, was a heavily medicated existence, working 30% of a regular job, and probably in a supervised environment. After having spent some years in an institution following a failed suicide attempt when I was 14 years old, I was already as low as I would ever get in my life. And her words could have swept the rug completely away from under my feet. Inexcusable and unacceptable words. But instead of giving up, I felt a quiet rage well up inside of me, and I was like «oh yeah? F*** you! Who the hell are you to tell me what I can and can’t do?! I will show you!».
So I carried on. And went out and started school and fell on my ass again. I felt shit. And went to the doctor and asked for help again. And got a new therapist who saw me for who I was. And with time, I got well. No medications. Full time school.
But being sick takes your life away, and while I had gotten well, the world had moved on without me, and I had to start from scratch. And seeing friends drift away, getting families of their own, having seemingly rich lives, while I couldn’t even tell new friends about my past for fear of how they might react – well, it made me feel horrible. Because, even though it is history now, it is still a big part of my life. And for years, I have wanted to build a life free from this past history of mine, always holding back; not realizing that I ended up holding back myself from life by doing so. Because I can’t be free from my history. It’s part of what makes me who I am, and I should not be ashamed of that.
I should be proud, and celebrate the fact that I beat the doctor’s stupid odds, and that the life force inside of me was so strong that I refused to give up when I was at my lowest. And this is my first step out of the closet, and into my place in the world – a place which I will create myself. ‘Cause I think that creating a place for yourself in this world is, not only allowed, but also necessary when you are ready for it and have the resources to do so! Think about it, those who you admire, didn’t they create their own space and make a new path? And they inspire other people to be brave in one way or another, too. It has a ripple effect.
And here, I will get back into the «art» part of this blog’s theme; ‘cause no matter what, and all through my life, there have always been a space for me in art, and I didn’t even have to make that space. Art has always been there to carry me through or comfort me when nothing else could. It has been a venting space for all the things I could not express with words; both good and bad. It is not something you need to be good at, for it to have value. It has value in itself, and if it means something to you, it means something! Just like we are all more than the sum of our parts; so is art, and in many ways, we are art too. We are the ones who experience life, but we are also experiences for one another, and valuable ones.
Like UncustoMary, who has a great impact on many people’s lives through spreading joy and inspiration with her loving heart and generous spirit. Or Jaclyn the Confetti Monster, who inspires self doubting beauties to shine and rise again, dust off and do their thing, with her magical and optimistic soul. Or all of you wonderful people who read this, who have so much to offer in your various ways. Some of you have taken the plunge and already do what you dream of doing, and some may be hesitant; not quite daring to yet. But, I really hope you choose yourself and your talents soon – granted it doesn’t hurt anyone else, of course – ‘cause out here in this world, you and what you do is needed in one way or another. And you don’t have to question it. Just do what you love, and know that everything will fall into place.
That is what I did when I opened my Etsy shop, after being inspired by Jaclyn the Confetti Monster, and pushed (with love) by Chèefa Lydia Lesafre. I was not super talented in any way. Heck, some things I made were down right bad. But making things means a lot to me, so I do it. And when something turns out well once in a while, I put it up in my Etsy shop.
So, it doesn’t matter if what you make, or say or do in this world isn’t superb. We learn, evolve, try again, fall on our behinds, get up again and so on – it is all part of life. The important thing is to do what matters to you, to try and not give up, and to know that you are not alone. Because I think many of us actually have much more in common than we realize. And the world could use some more unity, love and compassion right about now; both between people and within ourselves.