You’ve probably heard the expression “rose-tinted glasses”, meaning that someone only sees the good parts of life. It’s something I’ve been accused of often. People can assume that because you’re recognizing the good that you aren’t aware of the bad. Now, I’m not going to say that there aren’t people like this, and I’m not claiming to be a saint, but viewing the world through a positive lens is not ever a bad thing.
Do I sometimes shield myself from negative things? Absolutely. Sometimes I refuse to keep up with current events because it hurts my heart too much. I purposefully avoid knowledge to keep my brain in a positive space. That can be a terrible thing. But ultimately, seeing the good things in the world, or as I call them, “sparkly linings“, is a skill. It’s easy to get bummed out by humanity, and you know what? Sometimes we should get bummed out by humanity.
One day, on a walk through the city, I spotted this message written on the side of a broken down truck. I don’t know who Giver is, but I completely agree. Sometimes the human condition is horrible. We murder, rape, and betray not just innocent people, but those who we love the most. Every day there are multiple new stories on the news, or even in your own neighborhood, that will make you question if there is any good left out there.
A couple weeks ago, I was at the MVA getting my license renewed. The MVA (or DMV) is a place where almost every adult has to go. It’s almost never a pleasant experience, and is viewed as an unwanted chore by pretty much everyone. As I sat in that waiting area, I noticed how miserable everyone was, and I decided that I would come back the following week with some sort of present for everyone in the waiting room.
The next week, I returned with 150 lollipops that I had wrapped in festive cupcake wrappers, creating a little flower effect. I skipped into the MVA and began to ask people if they wanted a free lollipop while they waited. Not only did a lot of people say no, but some people were straight up rude to me. As I reached across to give a lollipop to a child who actually wanted one, a woman said “EXCUUUUSE ME” in a way that made me laugh out loud. For about thirty seconds I was horrified at this experience. Was this gesture that came from a place of kindness worthy of looks of disgust and rude remarks? I knew the answer was no, but what made me sad was that it seemed I was the only one who thought so.
I kept going, though. I went through every row, asking every single person if they wanted a lollipop. There were almost 200 people in there, and I passed out less than 20 of the lollipops I brought. But as I walked out the door, anything but empty handed, I just kept thinking about how everything was okay. Everything was going to be okay. It’s okay that these people hated what I did. All I wanted to do was make a bleak situation a little more fun, and I did my best to do so. The outcome kind of sucked, but this can not discourage me from continuing my mission.
A few hours later, I came back to these thoughts to reflect. I thought about the times that people have told me that I view the world with rose-tinted glasses, and how those same people probably would have told me that I “should have expected” that reaction at the MVA. But you know what? I’m glad that I didn’t. I’m glad that I walked through those doors full of optimism, and I’m glad that I left with my head held high.
I don’t view the world with rose-tinted glasses, though. I see everything with glitter goggles. Even my periphery is sparkly. Stay optimistic, my friends. [8 Tips On How To Be Optimistic]
You rock my world! This was great inspiration to “live in color” as you say. I love your story too (and your attitude) — great reminder that we don’t get to decide the outcome, only the intention… and this is okay 🙂
<3 Thanks Heidi! I wish we could hang out soon!
They probably didn’t hate what you did so much that… as you said, the world is pretty awful. We can hurt each other so much more easily than we could before technology allowed any person to build a bomb using materials from Home Depot or from what they ordered online. Likewise, it makes the world better that we have more access to positive materials. But the negative side breeds distrust and wariness.
That said, to you, no harm was intended– you were just trying to brighten days and bring good to a place that people might dislike (note: I LOVE going to the DMV :p). To them, you were just a stranger handing out a food item that could have potentially been contaminated, or maybe even (kind of sadly) a crazy person who shouldn’t be encouraged or provoked. Experience may have taught them not to trust others even in situations like this.
The way I see it, there are rose-colored glasses, and those are the ones we hear the most about… but there are also many other lens colors that people wear based on their perspective. Just as it’s not fair for people to judge & assume things on you based on the sparkle on your science goggles, likewise it’s not entirely fair to assume that people were hating on you or unwelcoming to a positive experience. Not everyone can be the type of person to easily think past what they’re feeling in that moment. Maybe later they thought about it and smiled. On another day or in another place, they might have loved it. Maybe if they didn’t have their kids with them they’d be more curious/interested and less protective. (etc)
And that is why you (and everyone) should never stop doing it, regardless of where or when or how many naysayers there ALWAYS are.
The fact that it was something edible may definitely have played a part in the responses, as well as the fact that when you’re in a situation like waiting in line at the MVA and you’re having a bad day that me interrupting you for a second is just going to add to your frustration.
I didn’t mean to say that the people who were rude to me were unwelcoming of positive experiences in general, though. But general courtesy would be nice. 😛 And my main purpose of this post wasn’t to knock the people in the MVA, it was to discourage discouragement. 😉 Because, like you said, you can’t make assumptions about circumstances in random situations. One day, the thing that you want to do might work beautifully. <3
As I read this I smiled and then felt sad and then smiled again. I think what you did was a gorgeous act of kindness and I would had gladly taken the lollipop with a smile and a thank you. You know the saying, you’ll never know, unless you try? You tried and now you know, and I love that you didn’t let it dampen your view on the world.
Aw, thank you so much, Kellie! That’s very sweet. Never stop trying!
Mary,
You’re such an inspiring human being!
So much loooove to you!
I wish I could have entered the DMV with you.
You’ve got girl balls, and those girl balls are made of magical glitter!
Mwuah!
-Trine.
I like the idea that my girl balls are made of glitter! Thank you, Trine!
I think that sometimes people get so upset with themselves because they feel like they can’t live in the happy parts of life and then they take it out on the people who can. I get this all the time!! That was a brave and wonderful thing you did for the folks at the MVA but they let themselves miss out on a fun opportunity and they’re probably mad at themselves for it now!
Spread the love and joy! Sooner or later people will start to see what they’re missing!
XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
Maybe if enough of us keep spreading joy that it will become the norm and no one will be afraid to participate!
Ughh, I wish I could be there when you do sweet things like give out lollipops at the DMV so I could get up and give you the squishiest hug. The fact that people like you exist–even if it’s hardly 1 out of a million people–God, it’s so good knowing.
<3 Thanks Carly
Yho. This story. I can relate SO HARD. Love your words.
Thank you, C. <3
Promise me you’ll never stop trying! 🙂
I won’t.
Marvelous and sparkly, Mary!!! I read your post to my DD14; she said, “I should do things like that! It’s great knowing that there are people who spread confetti in their everyday lives. We often forget the joy of a colorful world.”
How sweet!! Tell her that made my day <3
Totally awesome & inspired ♥
Thank you so much!! Have a beautiful day 🙂
I am constantly surprised when people react negatively to an attempt at positivity. But, I think as long as I am still surprised, rather than expecting negativity, I am on the right track. Keep with our tools of the trade- glitter, chalk, confetti and lollipops.
Thank you for being you, and always expecting the best.
That’s such a good point! As long as we approach situations of kindness with optimism and enthusiasm, then we are in the right frame of mind.
Wow, weird reactions! Good on you for trying to bring smiles to people. 🙂
Thanks, Anna. 🙂 Stay happy!