Self-Love Prompts is a series I started after creating a list of 50 self-love writing prompts. People like you select a prompt that speaks to them, work on it, and send me their response so I can share it with you guys!
We’re continuing on this series with Harriet. I’m excited to have her contributing to this series by answering the prompt, “What Is Something You Need To Let Go Of?” She’s a beautiful writer!
What Is Something You Need To Let Go Of?
Whenever I think about letting something go, I usually visualise a big bunch of balloons and a blue sky. I put all the bad things into those balloons ad I focus my concentration and positive energy before letting them go. I watch them float off, and I feel better.
But it never lasts for long – the healing is only superficial. The truth is that I just like thinking about balloons: the thing I really need to let go of is heavier, more persistent.
It’s you. You, the voice in my head that stops me from sleeping, the voice that stops me from celebrating my achievements, the voice that tells me I’m not good enough. I’m not good enough. I don’t work hard enough. I don’t do enough. I am not enough. It’s horrible living with you, voice. You completely blind me to what I’ve accomplished because all you care about are my inadequacies. Like last week when I was offered a job for next year. I should have come home happy, because your first teaching job is often the hardest to secure. But all you wanted to talk about, voice, was how I should have prepared more. I should have talked more, I shouldn’t have felt as confident as I did because I wasn’t picked up by the school I wanted, I should have done more but I didn’t, and I didn’t because I’m lazy.
Lies! Just lies!
I’m angry now voice. I want you gone. You take all my achievements and write them off to luck. ‘You got lucky.’ ‘You got in by the skin of your teeth.’ Voice, you even twist what I’m proudest of into something that hurts. Because you tell me that because I’m smart, I can wing it. I don’t have to work hard, and so I don’t. ‘You’re lazy.’ I’m lazy.
Well voice, I am not lazy. I do not just get lucky. I have merit and I work hard and I have enough people around me who are proud of what I’ve done for me to be proud too. So when I let you go, it won’t be as a pretty bunch of balloons. That’s not you. I’ll seize you by your lying throat and throw you from my mind as far as you can go. This is my exorcism, and you, voice, are my demon.
[pextestim pex_attr_name=”Harriet Christabel” pex_attr_img=”https://uncustomary.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Self-Love-Prompts-What-Is-Something-You-Need-To-Let-Go-Of-Uncustomary-3.jpg” pex_attr_org=”Blog” pex_attr_link=”https://teachingfromthefront.wordpress.com/” pex_attr_parallax=”disabled”]Harriet Christabel is a probationary secondary English teacher in Scotland. When she’s not lesson planning or going through jotters, she loves knitting, cooking, a good book, and being around her wonderfully supportive long term boyfriend.[/pextestim]
What is something you need to let go of?
Are you interested in being part of the Self-Love Prompt Series? Select your prompt and send me an e-mail so I can give you more information!