How do men and women actually fall in love and which behaviors or characteristics are central to choosing a partner? Experience from old relationships shows that finding a partner is not always ideal. But with the really important aspects in mind, you can soon find a new love that promises permanence and makes you happy.
Fun, communication, and similar education – ideal conditions when choosing a partner
Having a good conversation and having fun together – these are the most important criteria for the majority of women and men when choosing a partner. When it comes to deciding whether to get to know someone better and have a relationship with them, fun is the most important factor. Good communication and humor are no less relevant. Because those who laugh with each other not only have more fun together but often also have a similar educational background. Various studies of partner choice psychology have shown that an equal level of education goes hand in hand with the quality of a partnership. There are signs he doesn’t want a relationship with you, so it is best to pay attention to them.
Manners and social environment
Opening the door, good table manners and consideration for others – courteous and respectful behavior is the order of the day. Or in short: gentlemen are still en vogue. On the other hand, a man who doesn’t know how to behave or has bad manners is out of the question for most women today. It is particularly important to find out how well the potential partner fits into your own social environment.
Attractiveness and good sex
The most exciting information in advance: The quality of sex is more important to men and women when choosing a partner than the appearance of the potential partner. Increasing its external attractiveness is therefore only conditionally the key to happiness – it is more about the attraction between two people. However, external characteristics are not entirely irrelevant. Face, voice and eyes, in particular, are important criteria for both sexes when choosing a partner. Most women like their men hairy – but not too much. If a three-day beard increases the attractiveness points of a potential partner, long hair for men is an absolute no-go for most women.
Matching the desire to have children – an essential criterion when choosing a partner
Children? And if so, how many? Even if it otherwise fits, the existing or nonexistent desire to have a significant influence on the choice of partner. It is important for two-thirds of women and, after all, more than every second man that the ideas on family planning are coordinated. The decisive factor for a functioning partnership is the early exchange about starting a family, especially nowadays – because already one in five consciously chooses a life without children.
Opinions from parents and friends
Does your best friend like your significant other? Or are you not exactly what your potential annoying mother-in-law desires? However, the influence of family and friends should not be underestimated. In fact, every third woman and every fourth man consider the opinion of parents and friends important when it comes to deciding for or against a man or woman for life.
Absolute opposition is rather counterproductive for long-term relationships. In the short term, otherness ensures sexual attraction, which is why people often have a prey scheme that actually doesn’t suit them – in the long run, however, this model tends to lead to more conflicts and disharmony. The contradiction is always good when supplementation is possible.
Profession and standard of living
He is a craftsman and she is a doctor. He is a lawyer and she is a nurse. Opinions differ on the subject of jobs. While it is important to many women what the potential partner does for a living, it is interesting for very few men. The situation is similar when it comes to the standard of living that the new life partner should offer. Women, in particular, attach particular importance to the partner being able to offer them a certain standard. This is why so-called down-dating is not an option for most women.
Criteria concerning partner selection show that similarity and physical agreement are relevant factors that favor the establishment of a relationship. Those who have similar values, goals, and ideas about life, maintain a similar sense of humor, are communicatively on the same wavelength and come from a similar social class not only have an advantage when choosing a partner – the stability of love is also further strengthened by parallels.
Gut feeling and love at first sight
Why do people fall in love? Sometimes the choice of partner also comes from a gut feeling one person has. So, it is almost always intuition that decides whether an encounter becomes more – often in a matter of seconds. In fact, in a tenth of a second, the brain makes a judgment about the other person, which is difficult to revise. After all, around four out of ten women and men choose a partner because they fell head over heels in love with him or her.
Biochemical processes often determine the fit between two people. So-called pheromones, i.e. sex attractants, play a crucial role in the question “Do we smell good?”. Our nose is able to recognize and compare gene profiles. People are subconsciously looking for a partner who ideally complements the gene profile and thus has the potential to give people healthy offspring.
Golden rules for successful partner selection
Keep an eye on the important criteria. Define the relevant points for your future partner. Make a list and write down characteristics and behaviors that are particularly important to you in getting to know and in a partnership – but also those that are out of the question for you. This provides orientation and a solid basis for the (online) partner search.
Don’t make your demands too high. Would you have thought that 58 percent of women and 42 percent of men are solo because of their high standards? Bringing wishes and expectations to a potential partner makes sense on the one hand, but if the demands exceed a certain level, they hinder the path to a happy partnership. Few will find their absolute dream partner. Rethink your criteria when choosing a partner and turn a blind eye to one or the other point.
