It’s hard to search for sparkly linings in every situation. Sometimes it seems impossible that there would be one. But that’s the skill. If you can find one good thing in a shit situation… if you can even *try* to look for it… you’re already so much further along than most.
Friday night, I listened to a song I had been avoiding as a tool to get myself to cry while I was sandwiched in between Maura and Laura, and I finally cried as the small pink spell candle burned its way down to a nub and I found life returning to my body. I felt pain and it hurt, but I also started laughing and smiling and was excited to be with my friends. Then we watched Titan and I empathized with fictional characters like I usually do and the water droplets in the sink looked like glitter that night.
What happened was a result of me being vulnerable, genuine, open, and uneducated. I don’t have to shut down in response to past toxicity. I can remain open to future good while creating boundaries for myself and protecting myself from future toxicity by being aware of the warning signs. Maybe the sparkly lining is education. That now I know what to look for because sensitive people tend to attract narcissists and sociopaths, and there’s actually a lot of literature about it. Maybe I’ll find more sparkly linings as time goes on. Maybe I won’t. Maybe that’s enough.
Illustration collaboration with Kitty Pink Stars
