Last year for my birthday, Michelle sent me a video of her singing “The Middle”, but she changed the words to “It just takes some times, Mary girl, you’re in the middle of the ride. Everything will be just fine. Everything will be alright.” It was the most important thing at the time because I really needed to understand that it was okay that I didn’t have it figured out yet. It was okay to be confused and feel lost. It was okay to take chances and let myself be scared.
This is my last day of being 25, and I’m incredibly grateful for the year I’ve had. It started off with cussing out a famous wrestler and dancing to 90’s music on a pirate boat with friends and strangers. It progressed to show me that heartache doesn’t kill you if you choose to understand what it really means. I learned how to truly be by myself in every sense, and figured out that I’m a fucking blast. I took a chance on myself, and if nothing else I’m proud of that.
I’ve developed the kind of friendships I’ve always longed for. I’ve embraced myself. I have even more goals for the future, but for the first time ever I’m not pressed on deadlines. Enjoying the present is what’s important to me right now, and it feels fantastic.
So I might not need Jimmy Eat World or Michelle to serenade me anymore to remind me that it’s okay to be in the middle of the ride, because I’ve figured it out finally. But I can never tell you how much it meant to me that you pointed it out, supported, and loved me.
I’m getting ready to go out with some of my best friends in my favorite city, for a birthday eve celebration. I’m wearing a cupcake print dress and a tiara and have every intention of getting sweaty to the point of disgusting while dancing my ass off.
Thank you all for being a part of the past year, and what I consider to be the beginning of my (newest) journey. You make my life more beautiful.