If you’ve heard this from me or somewhere else before, I apologize, but I always like to clarify the difference between self-love jargon because they tend to be used so interchangeably, yet have very different meanings! We’re always talking about how we feel about ourselves, it’s just how we ended up there that ends up mattering. So…
Self-esteem – Developed from extrinsic experiences that you’ve had that form how you feel about yourself today; this is directly related to things people say about you or how you think people perceive you.
Self-confidence – The faith we have in ourselves regarding our skills, ability, or aptitude regarding various subjects; more intrinsic; allows you to anticipate compromising situations, say yes to new experiences, and take on new challenges.
We all want high levels of self-esteem, self-confidence, self-worth, and to practice self-love and self-care as often as possible. You came to this article to get some tips for boosting your confidence, so I’m going to share them with you. Before I do, I want to let you know that I’ve made an interactive worksheet to go along with this post, which is not unlike the worksheets I regularly post in my Uncustomary Babes Membership Group (five new resources a week, plus access to the archives for $8/month!). You can download it for free at the bottom of the article. Enjoy!
25 Tips To Be More Confident
1. Sit up straight/have great posture
2. Practice positive self-talk (speak kindly to yourself instead of constantly criticizing yourself)
3. Listen to upbeat, uplifting music (not just the beat, but the lyrics!)
4. Take pride in your appearance, no matter what that looks like for you
5. Write down your accomplishments and brag about them to others
6. Don’t get caught up in a dilemma of which thing to pick; make a decision and be sure about it
7. Get introspective and actually get to know yourself; it’s hard to be confident about a mind/body you’re unfamiliar with (try journaling, meditation, tapping, etc.)
8. Remove toxic people from your life and surround yourself with people who either are inspirational, innovative, grateful, positive, confident, etc.
9. Make time for you (specifically self-care)
10. Spend time naked, especially with parts of your body that you’re having a hard time accepting
11. Soak up knowledge about a new subject; learning will make you feel very self-assured and more likely to initiate/continue conversations
12. Make goals and work on them (especially ones that connect to your ultimate “Why?” and how you want to feel)
13. Go with your gut instincts/intuition; just trust yourself, you’re probably right, especially in primal circumstances
14. Flirt with people in whatever way feels natural to you (it doesn’t matter if they know you’re flirting, flirt back/respond to your flirting)
15. Be generous and do acts of kindness; confident people are happy to give to other people, including people who they don’t have a lot in common with (it’s easy to give to people we know and love, what about strangers or people of a different political party?)
16. Be grateful. Don’t just keep a happy journal, but express your gratitude as often as you can in real life; demonstrate what you’re thankful for in real time and encourage others to do the same!
17. Imagine what kind of life you’d ideally like to have; spend some time visualizing it (it doesn’t have to be a full on meditation). Then practice saying the goals that you want to achieve in the past tense as if you’ve already achieved them. (Bonus points for writing them in past tense on sticky notes you post around your house.)
18. Go out by yourself. Solo dates are an important act of self-care, but what says confident more than someone doing an activity usually done by more than one person by themselves?
19. Sit with you anxieties, stresses, and things that make you uncomfortable, if even for only a little while. Doing this in a safe space is like a mini exposure therapy. Over time, the anxiety will hold less power over you and you will be able to deal with it easier, conquering your fear and doing more of what you want without restrictions!
20. Prepare for what you’re about to do. Prepping for the day ahead, your next event, or even a hurricane is the action of a confident person. It demonstrates you’re not scared about what’s to come and you’re ready to take it on!
21. Celebrate yourself, like as often as possible. It seems silly to print yourself out an award, buy yourself a balloon, or make a Facebook post about something other people might consider to be “trivial”, but guess what? Who cares?! Celebrating and honoring your successes and achievements is the mark of a self-assured babe.
22. Try to change a habit, no matter how small. This can be to create a good habit, like meditating in the morning, or eliminating a bad habit like biting your nails down to the nail beds. Either way, you’re demonstrating control over your life, actions, and willpower. (And don’t forget to celebrate your success!)
23. Move your body. Traditional exercise (going to the gym/running) might not be your cup of tea, but I promise you will feel a mood boost after moving your body, even just for 15 minutes — if only for the endorphin rush. And then you can feel good about the fact that you worked out! Double win.
24. Walk around with a smile. Smiling can be a random act of kindness and make someone’s day. It can also freak people out and demonstrate your confidence and power! It all depends on the situation. Maybe consider putting on your power outfit and then wearing a smile as an accessory for the rest of the day and seeing what the results of your experiment look like.
25. Write down every single compliment someone gives you. I’m serious! Whether it’s just, “You look so pretty today” or, “I really like the way your mind works”, take a second to quote them and write it down in a notepad in your phone and eventually transfer everything to a notebook or digital document so you have a giant compilation of wonderful things people think about you (THAT ARE TRUE) in one place.
How do you boost your confidence?
Photo: Maura Housley