The other day on my walk I was sweating my butt off in August Baltimore Humidity, near the end of an hour long walk, and I walked by a group of gorgeous people dressed up all fancy, about to go out to dinner at an expensive restaurant.
A part of my brain immediately went into this regressive state where I felt like a middle schooler who wasn’t wearing ‘cool’ clothes, prepared to be teased, thinking what they must be thinking of what they were thinking of me as they walked to the other side of the street.
I stopped myself before I really got into that whole thought process, and recognized that the reality was they were wearing masks, socially distancing themselves from me, and dressed up because they were going out to eat.
- Their looks or size don’t make them better or worse than me or anyone else.
- The fact that they were going out to eat at the same time I was sweaty and exercising doesn’t mean anything except the fact that we were doing different things at the same time in the same place.
- It could have easily been flipped. One of them could have been jogging as I was dressed in an outfit that made me feel confident and sexy, doing an art installation. Who knows?
It made me realize two things more than ever:
1) Our inner insecurities will continue to come out to play, even when we’re consistently doing work with our shadows and inner critic. The impulses might never completely go away with some things, or they might, but it’s our choice as to how we react to them once they pop up.
2) Someone else’s journey is never a reflection of your own. Just because someone is on vacation when you’re working doesn’t mean you’re less worthy than them. Same thing goes for when someone is in a relationship, gets a promotion, has a larger amount in their bank account, a different car, more followers, whatever.
It’s up to you if you want to go after those things, or anything, that makes you happy. It’s also up to you if you’re going to let someone else’s happiness be the reason you’re unhappy.
Thumbnail Photo: Maura Housley
