(240)-623-5414 mary@uncustomary.org
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A Pear Is A Fruit, Not A Body Type

A Pear Is A Fruit, Not A Body Type

by Uncustomary | Nov 4, 2017 | Body Positivity, Self-Love

“I’M A FRUIT, NOT A BODY TYPE!!” – Pear
Body Positivity + Halloween Costumes

Body Positivity + Halloween Costumes

by Uncustomary | Oct 3, 2017 | Body Positivity, Self-Love

I see too many people scared to wear costumes because they don’t love their bodies and are worried what they’ll look like. Some people criticize others for using this holiday as a time to “dress slutty”, and I think we should probably start...
Shave Because You Want To, Not Because You Have To

Shave Because You Want To, Not Because You Have To

by Uncustomary | Sep 5, 2017 | Body Positivity, Self-Love

Empowerment is different things to different people. Sometimes someone not shaving their armpits is a conscious act of protesting the patriarchy. Sometimes it’s laziness. Sometimes it’s just a personal preference. Know there is nothing wrong with shaving...
All Bodies Are Beautiful

All Bodies Are Beautiful

by Uncustomary | Jul 27, 2017 | Body Positivity, Self-Love

That means yours, too! KittyPinkStars
Fat Flesh Doesn’t Equal Nudity

Fat Flesh Doesn’t Equal Nudity

by Uncustomary | Jun 6, 2017 | Body Positivity, Self-Love

Recently, I was asking for Instagram tips and someone said something which has been mentioned to me many times before, which is that they don’t like how much “nudity” I post on social media. I’ve been thinking about it, and here’s my...
Body Positivity Isn’t Just For Curvy White Women

Body Positivity Isn’t Just For Curvy White Women

by Uncustomary | Mar 2, 2017 | Body Positivity, Self-Love

Remember those Dove ads? They were a great start for body positivity. It showed women who weren’t Victoria’s Secret models standing, happily, in their underwear and posing for the camera. It was awesome, but as with any societal issue — it was just...
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merrimentmaker

How it feels writing your memoir. New essays every How it feels writing your memoir.
New essays every week.
The world is loud 🙉 The news is heavy 🙈 You're exh The world is loud 🙉 The news is heavy 🙈 You're exhausted 🙊

📬 You deserve something small + sweet just for you.

I believe in tangible joy... ✂️ things you can hold, flip through, tape to your wall, and keep. Digital is great, but there’s a certain kind of magic in real paper in your real hands

Think of me as your Joy Curator AKA Merrment Maker. 🌞🦄

Just like you trust an accountant with taxes or a mechanic with your car, you can delegate happy logistics to me.

I’ll make sure something delightful lands in your mailbox every month. 💌

📮 Comment "mail" and I'll send you info! ⤵️

#MerrimentMaking #UncustomaryLove #SnailMail #AnalogLiving #AnalogLifestyle
I made a sign reminding people they are allowed to I made a sign reminding people they are allowed to play in the grass. 🌱

Which is a little ridiculous because nobody actually owns the concept of sitting in grass. But sometimes we forget that we're allowed to interact in public space. Or see things like grass as fun instead of something we're obligation to take care of. 🍃

We came up with weird rules like ... Walk on the sidewalk. Sit on the bench. Cross the grass if you need to get somewhere. Don't lie down unless it's specifically A Picnic. Don't roll around because... you're 38 and people can see you?

There are too many totally made-up rules governing what we're allowed to do with our bodies/lives once we're 'grown up' (+ before).

So I made some different ones:

PLEASE PLAY IN THE GRASS 🌱

roll around
take off your shoes
wiggle your toes
run your fingers through the plush turf
watch the wind blow the blades
traipse around
twirl in the sun
lie on your back
braid pieces together
feel it breathe
feel yourself breathe
hear the birds
remember the beauty
let it all feel good
the rules don't apply here.
we made them up anyway.
the grass belongs to all of us; we are one.
just be kind.
leave it better than you found it.
🌱🌱🌱

I've been thinking a lot lately about how feeling more alive might require LESS advice and MORE participation.

Less 12 habits to optimize your morning routine + more things you can touch.

That's why i create interruptions that made you wonder "Wait... am I allowed to do that?"
And then realizing nobody is actually coming to arrest you for twirling in the grass.

This is part of why I love guerrilla art so much. 🎨
It can change the instructions for a place.

A patch of grass turns into a place to play. A stranger changs into a participating friend.

+for 5 minutes, the world can operate according to slightly different rules because somebody bothered to make them.

Please play in the grass.
We have enough signs telling us what not to do. 🌱💗

#MerrimentMaking #UncustomaryStreetArt #PublicArt #PlayOutside #TouchGrass
This weekend, I: 💗 switched my phone plan to save This weekend, I:

💗 switched my phone plan to save $ 140/month 💗 put a reddish tint in my hair 💗published essay 3 and outline number 4 💗 went through 3 boxes of film to photograph to use for my essays 💗 sent October birthday cards 💗 watched only murderers in the building, boogie nights, & the departed 💗ordered supplies for Halloween mail and trick or treaters 💗 cleaned the house, bought groceries, & planned the week 💗 painted my nail real & glittery
The second essay in my new book explains this infa The second essay in my new book explains this infamous photo.

Why I have bandages, how I hurt my leg, and how this specific experience taught me more about my parents than any other.

New essay every week. 📖🔗

#growingupinthe90s #womenauthors #childhoodmemories
One of the great things about doing a monthly roun One of the great things about doing a monthly round up 📸 is you'll start to notice patterns of the things that make you feel alive.

September contains photographic proof that I: ⤵️

⚔️ fought a child with a foam sword in a hardware store
🎹 played a public piano
🎯 tried darts for the first time + got a bullseye
👞 visited a house shaped like a shoe
📚 took the girls to a completely free bookstore
🖊️ wrote FEEL GOOD TO DO GOOD in Graffiti Alley
🧸 drove around Pennsylvania looking for vintage toys
🐕 attended trivia with a so many dogs (and brought toys for all!)
💗 spent 12+ hours turning hundreds of photographs into the story of Nick and me
📖 released my 4th book

Plus temporary tattoo sleeves, Transformers, finger puppets, Costco samples, Lisa Frank stationery, 🩷& a tiny heart ring with an N on it.

This is basically what I've been trying to explain with the Merriment Method.

Feeling more alive has rarely come from sitting around thinking REALLY HARD about how to feel more alive. I just have to PARTICIPATE.

👇 Touch stuff. ✂️ Make things. 🚶‍♀️ Go places. 🎯 Try something new I have no opinion about. 🎈 Celebrate people in ways that make sense for them. 🖍️ Leave evidence I was here.

And the best part is that even though EVERY day this month didn't feel like the ebst day of my life... I still remember that some days were wonderful. Even if some days were emotionally draining, expensive, or exhausting.

✍️ I mean, writing my book alone requires me to revist things I would rather leave buring in a filing cabinet with a lock and chain. 🔏😅

But writing my book exists right next to foam sword fights. 🤹‍♀️ It's all the same merry little life.

Which is maybe why I think I've stopped being interested in chasing some permanent state of happiness. I just want to participate, play, and leave a trail of googly eyes next to a giant shoe. 👞

#MerrimentMaking #DayInTheLife #UncustomaryInTheWild #FeelMoreAlive #BaltimoreCreative
I think one of the weirder parts of being an adult I think one of the weirder parts of being an adult is realizing how many things you do that you never actually decided you liked. 🫠

Not even big stuff.

Things like.. you’ve been parting your hair on the same side for 11 yrs. Or you say you’re “not really a _ person” even though you don't remember when you decided that and you're not sure if it's true anymore.

I think we accidentally make a lot of tiny rules about ourselves like...

This is flattering on me
This isn’t “me"
I’m not good at that
I’m too old for this
I would look stupid wearing that
I can't cook
I’m not creative

And some of them ARE true! I’m not saying we all have secret passions for pottery and capri pants that society has beaten out of us. 😂

But some of them are just... old ideas.
That someone else imparted to you or was true in 2017.

This is a huge part of what I mean when I talk about Expression in the Merriment Method.

I don't think you can actually “find your authentic self” because there isn't a complete version of you you'll find if you journal hard enough to excavate her.🪆

You can find a photo of what you wore a decade ago and remember feeling hot AF in it & now wonder why no one tried to stop you, or spend $200 on a hobby you make your personality for 6 months and now would pay NOT to do. Or you thought you'd never wear jeans again and now you like them. A little, anyway.

Try, retry, edit, ditch it, learn, let the info change your clothes, house, relationships, boundaries, your Tuesday, & your concerning collection of rubber ducks. 🦆

I think THAT's expression.

Anyway, your mission this week is to turn yourself up 5%. 📢 Pick one preference you normally ignore, dismiss, save for later, or hand over to somebody else and actually DO something with it.

& if you want more places to fuck around with this, there’s an entire Expression section inside Strange + Functional with prompts, experiments & resources for figuring out what feels like you... including the stuff you haven’t tried yet. 💗 There's a 3-day free trial.

#MerrimentMethod #SelfExpression #CreativeLiving #CreativeExpression
Monday reminder that there are some fabulous, whol Monday reminder that there are some fabulous, wholesome humans out there. 💁🌏🦸‍♀️ Hands up for the Merriment Makers. 🙌

#MerrimentMemes #WholesomeHumans #WholesomeMemes #KindnessIsFree #RestoringFaithInHumanity
I'm going to share a little trick with you I use i I'm going to share a little trick with you I use in coaching... 🤐

When you become aware of one of those silly, stupid, nutso thoughts your brain has (and is being VERY convincing about, so you start to believe), I want you to roleplay as an attorney. 👩‍⚖️ 

So maybe your brain is tricking you into believing 🤔 "you always fail", "there's never any point in trying", or "you're so ugly"...

Try to argue against the thought as if you're cross examining it. ⤵️

💯 "Oh REALLY? Well, would you say that's objectively true 100% of the time?"
📐 "Could you make the argument that this isn't grounded in something measurable?"
👥 "You're telling the jury that you have NEVER heard the opposite?"
📁 "I submit to you, Exhibit A: where the defendant actually did accomplish her goal."
🔮 "You aren't a mind reader, correct? So you are asking this court to accept your guess as a matter of fact?""
👩‍⚖️"YOUR HONOR, HERESAY!"
👭 "If a friend came to you with this exact same situation, you wouldn't use this harsh tone with them, would you? So why is your testimony so heavily biased?"
🎭 "So your entire argument rests purely on an emotional feeling, rather than documented fact?"
⚖️ "Objection. Speculation! Move to strike!"

Try it out. I've seen wonders with cognitive reframing. If you want help, apply for my mentorship to work with me one on one. 📎👩‍💻website 

#PlayfulPsychology #CognitiveReframing #SelfTalk #LimitingBeliefs #SelfSabotage
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