Bug’s Diary

Bug allowed me to take some excerpts from his diary for this month’s dose of Bug. He was able to understand that sometimes the fans just want a peek into your daily life. He would also like me to point out that all 5 of my top Instagrams in 2013 were him, except for the rainbow tree… which he helped to create.

December 1, 2013
Dear Diary,

Today, mom got crinkle bags of stuff out. She put some stuff on me, and I didn’t care. I looked beautiful. I had to inspect the manufacturing of all jingle balls and fuzzy string. It seems that the jingle balls are safe, and I will not need to further murder them. However, the black and white bird on the door is in for an ass-whooping.

Love, Bug

December 14, 2013
Dear Diary,

Today, mom said a lot of words out loud to me after I got on my nest. She said some words and then turned the paper towards me. After a while, I got tired and fell asleep while she was saying more words. I think there was a fake cat on the paper, but I learned last year that paper cats aren’t a threat. Although, they do still need to be punished.

Love, Bug

November 20, 2013
Dear Diary,

Mom had another human over in my room. They were very loud, but I didn’t mind because of all the pretty string they were playing with. I covered myself in them, looking beautiful as ever. I thought it was very rude that mom took them back later. I will scratch her in her sleep, so she understands her rudeness.

Love, Bug

December 3, 2013
Dear Diary,

Tonight, mom moved around a lot. She was loud at old man, and he went outside with the birds for a while. When he came back in, he had two sticks. Mom was really happy about the sticks and she gave me one. She rubbed my face good earlier and gave me cowboy treats, so I accepted the gift. I went to bed with it for night naps.

Love, Bug

December 13, 2013
Dear Diary,

Today mom tried to make me into a reindeer. I told her I didn’t want to be a reindeer. It seemed to work. I was already a bat, and I don’t need to be another inferior animal. What’s next, a bird? I will kill all birds. Cats are the best. I’m already a cat.

Love, Bug

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