Why Not Wanting To Be Your Friend Doesn’t Mean I Hate You

by | Jun 29, 2015 | Self-Love | 10 comments

On Friday, June 26th 2015, the Supreme Court of the United States decided that the Constitution grants the right for any two individuals to get married, regardless of sexual orientation or gender. This decision was long overdue, and it evoked a lot of emotion in people across the globe.

That same day, I had published a post on self love, specifically on the topic of transgender dysphoria. It was kind of a nice coincidence in talking about accepting and loving yourself and others on the same day that Love Won in our country.

Why Not Wanting To Be Someone's Friend Doesn't Mean I Hate Them | Uncustomary Art

It made me happy to see pictures of rainbows and messages of love and support all over social media. I uploaded the above photo of myself declaring my joy for the nation, reminding everyone that love always wins, and saying that if anyone reading this message was angry at the decision that SCOTUS made in favor of marriage equality, that’s what the ‘unfriend’ button is for.

A little bit of discussion started as a result of that, reminding me that someone could ‘unfollow’ me on Facebook instead of ‘unfriend’ me, and there was no reason for me to hate. I want to make something perfectly clear: this is not about hate, or at least my hate for someone else.

Why Not Wanting To Be Someone's Friend Doesn't Mean I Hate Them | Uncustomary Art

I am not Christian, I am not Republican, and I am not supportive of gun ownership, but I am not angry at Christians, Republicans, or gun-owners. I am friends with them in real life and online, and our difference in political views does not mean that we can’t have a healthy, fun relationship.

The thing is, though, that being angry at the decision for all people in the US to be able to marry means that you hold the belief that all people should not be treated equally. It’s that simple. You can say that it makes you uncomfortable, that you don’t know how to explain it to your children, or that your religion doesn’t “allow” it, but at the end of the day if you don’t support marriage equality you don’t support human equality.

Why Not Wanting To Be Someone's Friend Doesn't Mean I Hate Them | Uncustomary Art

I am not gay, and I will never marry a woman, but I will fight and argue over your right to be able to do so until I am blue in the face. My invitation for you to unfriend me is not one written out of hate, I think that you too should have the same rights as everyone else, but your hate towards non-heterosexual people makes me not want to associate with you. It’s not complicated, I’m not trying to hide behind anything, I just don’t want to be your friend in person or online.

Me not wanting to be friends with someone doesn’t mean I hate them. A key to self love and happiness is surrounding yourself with positivity, and a huge part of that is people. Surround yourself with people who inspire you and aren’t full of negativity and you will end up a happier and more successful individual. My brain cannot comprehend being against marriage equality as anything but negative, so I choose not to associate with those people. That’s all I’m saying.

Why Not Wanting To Be Someone's Friend Doesn't Mean I Hate Them | Uncustomary Art

You don’t have to be friends with everyone, and you can be mad at me for not wanting to be. You can be mad at me for supporting marriage equality, too. That’s fine. I won’t be offended by your offense to this post or my beliefs. My rule of thumb is not to judge someone on the way they live their life, unless it is affecting how someone else is living theirs. I don’t want to go to church, but your doing so is not affecting me. Laws that prohibit people from a basic right (like marriage) are affecting them, which is the difference.

I love you, and I think you’re beautiful. I will never say “I think you’re beautiful even if” you’re gay, fat, or religious. Those are just parts of you, and all parts of you make you beautiful.

In Columbia, Maryland, there’s a former grocery store that has been transformed into a department store for mythical creatures, time travelers, and intergalactic tourists.

It’s called DoodleHATCH.

You can groom a unicorn, visit an intergalactic space station, climb onto a giant’s bed, meet guinea pigs, explore an artist’s studio, and discover approximately a million other things that somebody actually sat down and made.

It’s a nonprofit interactive art museum, a community project, an educational resource, and one of my favorite places I’ve ever discovered.

And it could be demolished as part of a proposed redevelopment of the Long Reach Village Center.

But there’s still an opportunity to help.

You don’t need to donate money. You don’t need to live in Maryland. And you don’t need to know anything about zoning laws.

You can start by writing an email.

🚨 Here's what's happening

Developer Columbia Concepts has proposed redeveloping the Long Reach Village Center in Columbia, Maryland.

The proposal would replace existing buildings with new housing, recreational facilities, and other development.

Unfortunately, that puts a whole collection of existing community resources at risk of being demolished, including:

  • DoodleHATCH Interactive Art Museum
  • Maryland Fashion Institute
  • A makerspace used for community education
  • Local restaurants, shops, and service businesses
  • Early childhood education and community programs
  • A 140-foot-long mural created by approximately 100 community members

This isn’t just about losing a fabulous museum. It’s about losing an entire collection of places that people have built, supported, and relied on.

And there’s another possibility!

🌈 Meet The REALM

Lee Andersen, the founder of DoodleHATCH, and her nonprofit ManneqART want to preserve the existing community resources and transform the village center into an arts and culture destination called The REALM.

Imagine a place where artists have studios, children have room to explore, students can learn creative skills, people can attend performances, and local businesses continue serving their neighbors.

There are plans for a performing arts space, more opportunities for artists, and a Witches Kitchen that might serve you a horrible-disgusting breakfast.

Which, personally, I think sounds promising.

The people behind DoodleHATCH are gathering support to oppose the developer’s zoning proposal and advocate for The REALM.

And they’d love your help.

💌 How to help in about two minutes

If you live in Howard County, Maryland

If you’re 18 or older, DoodleHATCH is asking eligible county residents to visit the museum and sign their petition in person.

📍DoodleHATCH Interactive Art Museum

8775 Cloudleap Court, Unit 101
Columbia, MD 21045

⏱️ Museum hours: Friday–Sunday, 10 AM–5 PM.

And while you’re there, I highly recommend exploring the museum. Bring someone who needs a reminder that being an adult doesn’t mean you have to stop enjoying ridiculous things.

If you don't live in Howard County

You can still help!

DoodleHATCH is collecting emails from people who oppose the proposed Columbia Concepts redevelopment and support preserving the existing arts and community resources through The REALM.

Send your email to: Lilou@DoodleHATCH.com

Suggested subject: Support The REALM | Oppose Columbia Concepts Zoning Proposal ZB 1132M

You can write your own message or use one of the templates below.

You don’t need to write an essay. A short, genuine message explaining what you support and why is enough to participate in this email campaign.

✍️ What should your email say?

To make your position clear, include these three things:

1. Say what you’re opposing.

State that you oppose the proposed Columbia Concepts redevelopment and zoning amendment for the Long Reach Village Center, case ZB 1132M.

2. Say what you’re supporting.

Express your support for preserving DoodleHATCH, the Maryland Fashion Institute, existing community resources, and the proposed arts and culture center called The REALM.

3. Explain why you care.

This is the part that makes your email yours.

Maybe you’ve visited DoodleHATCH. Maybe you’re a parent who wants more creative places for children. Maybe you’re an artist, an educator, or someone who thinks it’s important to protect the few spaces where people can explore and make things without needing to buy something.

Maybe you live across the country and just learned that there’s a department store for mythical creatures in Maryland, and you think the world would be a little less interesting without it.

That’s a perfectly good reason to care.

💌 Email templates you can copy

Option 1: Short, simple, and effective

Subject: Support The REALM | Oppose ZB 1132M

Hello,

I’m writing to express my opposition to the proposed Columbia Concepts zoning amendment and redevelopment of the Long Reach Village Center (ZB 1132M).

I support preserving DoodleHATCH, the Maryland Fashion Institute, and the existing community services and small businesses, as well as the proposal to create The REALM arts and culture center.

Creative and educational spaces like these provide valuable opportunities for families, artists, students, and the wider community. I believe they deserve to be protected.

Please include my email with the messages of support being collected for DoodleHATCH and The REALM.

Thank you,

[Your Name]
[Your City/State]

Option 2: For artists, creatives, and fellow merriment makers

Subject: Please Protect DoodleHATCH and Support The REALM

Hello,

I’m writing in opposition to Columbia Concepts’ proposed redevelopment and zoning amendment for the Long Reach Village Center (ZB 1132M), and in support of The REALM.

I believe communities need places where creativity, imagination, and play are actively encouraged.

DoodleHATCH is an extraordinary example of what can happen when artists and community members are given room to create something that doesn’t fit into an ordinary commercial space.

Places like this are rare. They encourage people of all ages to experiment, learn, explore, and connect with one another.

I support preserving DoodleHATCH, the Maryland Fashion Institute, the existing community resources, and the vision for The REALM.

Thank you for collecting these messages and advocating for the creative community.

[Your Name]
[Your City/State]

Option 3: For people who've visited DoodleHATCH

Subject: Please Save DoodleHATCH | Oppose ZB 1132M

Hello,

I’m writing to express my opposition to the proposed Columbia Concepts redevelopment and zoning amendment for the Long Reach Village Center (ZB 1132M), and my support for The REALM.

I’ve personally visited DoodleHATCH, and I want to share why I believe it’s worth preserving.

[Write two or three sentences about your experience. What did you see? Who did you bring? What surprised you? What made you want to return?]

DoodleHATCH is more than a collection of exhibits. It’s a place where creativity is something people can actively participate in, and I believe losing it would be a tremendous loss to the community.

I support preserving the museum, the Maryland Fashion Institute, and the other existing community resources through the proposed arts and culture center, The REALM.

Please include my email with the messages of support you’re collecting.

Thank you,

[Your Name]
[Your City/State]

A few tips before you hit send

DO:

  • Use your real name.

  • Include your city and state so organizers can understand where support is coming from.

  • Clearly identify the redevelopment proposal you’re opposing.

  • Specifically mention your support for The REALM.

  • Add a personal sentence or two if you can.

  • Be respectful, even if you’re frustrated.

  • Share this page with other people who might want to help.

DON’T:

  • Pretend to be a Howard County resident if you’re not.

  • Claim to have visited DoodleHATCH if you haven’t.

  • Make up experiences or information.

  • Send threatening, insulting, or harassing messages.

  • Assume your email is the same thing as signing the official petition.

  • Worry about making your message sound impressive. Clear and genuine is better than elaborate.

💌 The Save DoodleHATCH Email Machine

A few clicks, a little personality, and an email that helps support DoodleHATCH and The REALM. No account or signup required.

What's your connection to DoodleHATCH?
Why does protecting places like this matter to you?
✨ Your email preview
To: Lilou@DoodleHATCH.com
Subject:

Your information stays in your browser until you choose to copy or open the message. The email does not send automatically. Emails support DoodleHATCH's advocacy campaign; they are not the same as official petition signatures or zoning testimony. Please review the message before sending.

🐹 Wait. What exactly is DoodleHATCH?

I’m so glad you asked.

DoodleHATCH is an interactive art museum in Columbia, Maryland, created by artist, designer, and professional generator of wildly ambitious ideas, Lee Andersen.

The museum is designed as a pretend department store for mythological creatures, time travelers, and galactic tourists.

There are dozens of installations, and unlike most museums, you’re encouraged to touch things, explore, and participate.

There’s also an artist’s studio full of fabric and handmade garments, workshops, special events, birthday parties, free books, and opportunities for local artists to share their work.

The museum welcomes families and children, but adults are absolutely allowed to enjoy themselves, too.

And the woman behind it has spent decades bringing creativity into the community through fashion, festivals, education, and public art.

I discovered DoodleHATCH in 2020 and loved it so much that I started volunteering.

I’ve been back multiple times, and there are still things I haven’t seen.

That’s part of what makes it special. You can keep discovering things because people keep creating them.

You don't have to live near DoodleHATCH to care about it.

There are Merriment Makers everywhere.

People turning empty buildings into art spaces. People organizing parades. People teaching kids how to sew, paint, dance, or build things. People putting enormous amounts of time into projects that make their communities more interesting.

Sometimes they’re running nonprofits. Sometimes they’re working out of their garages. Sometimes they’re making something weird in a strip mall that you might drive past a hundred times without realizing what’s inside.

I hope you’ll help protect DoodleHATCH.

And I hope you’ll look around your own community, too. Visit the strange little museum. Go to the local art show. Find the person who makes giant puppets or organizes an absurd annual festival. Spend your money at the independent shop with the handmade things.

There are people everywhere creating reasons for us to be curious about being alive.

I’d like them to be able to keep doing that.

Help save DoodleHATCH. Help protect The REALM. Help keep the world interesting.

💌 Email: Lilou@DoodleHATCH.com

🌈 Visit: DoodleHATCH.com

🦄 Share: Uncustomary.org/Doodle