I have absolutely no idea what happened to September. I can’t remember the last time I felt a month slip through my fingers like this. Tomorrow is October (check back for a recap on September, and unusual holidays/my goals for October), and I’m going to do everything I can to be more deliberate about how I’m spending my time so days don’t pass me by in the same way!

All in all, this week has been pretty great, though. Two of the main things I did were going to an “un-company” picnic where I facilitated parachute activities, and attended a calendar release party. One of my oldest friends was a model for a calendar modeling jeans, and the release party was at a mansion in Baltimore. The models walked around our tables instead of on a catwalk, and to get my moneysworth for my ticket, I decided I wanted to have as much fun as possible. I did things like, act like I was on the runway when I went to get another drink, stand when they recognized the hair stylist in the audience, and left early to swim in the fountain across the street.

Extra Sparkle Giving a monologue adjacent speech in the middle of my bank on how everywhere, not just banks, should give out free lollipops  The scene where Danny Castellano in the newest episode of “The Mindy Project” (holy crap)  The way Bug hides when I change my bed sheets  How Joe looked all dressed up  Getting the new Keri Smith book  The fake pilot episode of Archer  Finding my favorite booty shorts on clearance  Fancy ramen at TenTen with Sara  An incredibly thoughtful package from April in Chicago  Doing some writing at Starbucks  Walking into a bar and the bartender saying “Hey Mary, did you get all the frosting off your car? We’re out of white zin.”  The fact that vape pipes exist (and that Joe has one)  Getting Brad to sign the calendar he’s in  Seeing Munchel in a dress for the first time  Scheduling a fake band photoshoot  Trying my hand at balloon art that aren’t dogs  Getting back to knitting  April + Andy’s relationship  Driving around Baltimore for hours and getting inspired to do something positive by all the negativity in the city lately  Watching Parks and Recreation to channel Leslie’s productivity and Chris’ positivity  This text from Suzie: “My coworker has glitter in his bald spot.”  The hilarious video for Baltimore’s Haunted Attraction Kickstarter (please support!)  Crazy-marrying a cowboy Downloading Afterlight for editing photos on my phone  Raging with my cat

In case you didn’t already see on social media, I’m having a sale on my ad space. Get a whole month on my sidebar for $7! E-mail me! And if you haven’t signed up for Mary Mail (my bi-weekly newsletter), do that now so you can get a free list of 200 things to do when you’red bored (a newsletter exclusive)! Have a beautiful last day of September, you beautiful beasts.