Recently, I’ve been seeing a lot of articles about all the things Millenials are “killing”, which I think is really interesting and funny. My favorite one is honestly the flat sheet in the bedding packages. No one I know uses those! Soon a thing of the past? Save the fabric! But one of the more real life things Millenials are accused of “killing” is the institution of marriage, or at the very least early marriages (at a young age). I wonder why?
Maybe Millenials are starting to realize a few things like if marriage is something that’s supposed to last forever, there doesn’t need to be this urgent rush to do it as soon as possible. Or since less people are interested in having kids they simply aren’t in a rush at all? It’s possible they’re over the idea of marriage as an institution and are looking at more unconventional options. But maybe, mostly, they’re taking their time because they want to date as much as possible because they’re setting their standards for a life-long partner than any generation before them!
I think all of these are valid reasons to wait to get married till later in life. It seems like people are being more conscious and deliberate about the concept of marriage, and that could end in less unhappy marriages, less divorces, etc. What a beautiful thing! This act of conscious entrance into a union has also created a higher trend for couples who are about to get engaged trying out premarital counseling.
Premarital counseling doesn’t necessarily need to be done if you’re having issues. In fact, lots of times it’s done when people are in a bit of a “honeymoon” phase as they’re planning their wedding. It’s a very mature and responsible step in their relationship so they can prepare for the future.
I’ve always said that everyone, as an individual, should attend therapy at least once (even if you don’t have a mental illness, because everyone still has mental health!), but I think this concept holds true to couples about to enter into a union that could potentially last a lifetime! The idea is to use this opportunity to air any grievances you have been holding onto, any concerns for the future, and make a concrete plan for your future life together with the aid of a neutral third party present.
When people love each other so much, passion can get in the way of logical planning, so a therapist is incredibly helpful to keep you on track and help you prepare the best you can for your marriage. How will you handle finances, sex, children? These are things you should definitely discuss before you enter a union. And if you have differing opinions and values on some big issues (most will!), this is the perfect safe environment to create a plan that will work for you in your next chapter of married life so the next surprises you have are happy ones!
