Party Tips

Recently, I wrote about the importance of celebrating everything. In the post, I referenced Andrew W.K., who is a singer you’ll often see wearing all white and talking about partying. For years, there has been a large controversy over whether or not he is a real person. The theories are vast, ranging from him being brainwashed by the Illuminati to just a fabricated actor filling a role. He’s actually confessed to the fact that “Andrew W.K.” is a made-up persona, and you’re welcome to read more about the theories surrounding the whole thing and come to your own conclusion, but I’m writing about it today to say that I believe in him.

I believe in his message, his mission. Whether the ideas are his, whether he believes the things he says, and whether he will always be Andrew W.K. are irrelevant to me. I just don’t care. What I care about is partying. I firmly believe that life is a party. It’s the longest party we’ll ever go to, but it’s still way too short. I refuse to waste my time worrying about what other people think, and that includes the theories that surround the legitimacy of this long-haired rock star. All I need to worry about is how to live, and I know how I want to live. I want to party.

Here are 25 party tips that I hope you’ll enjoy.

The triangle is a bad ass instrument. Anyone who tells you otherwise isn’t worthy of the party animal inside you.
Everywhere is a stage.
Cats sleep pretty lightly, so you can wake those bastards up to party at *any* time.
 Doing the sprinkler at a velvet rope night club is completely acceptable if that’s what you want to do.
Hand out googly eyes to people in bars if you want them to come party with you after last call.
It doesn’t need to be your birthday to wear a tiara.
Include everyone.
Always keep confetti in your pocket, purse, or car.
Pizza doesn’t have to be just a food.
Channeling The Olson Twins (from any year) will ensure that you have a kick ass party.
Your car is a party in motion. Don’t forget to stock it full of LED lights, disposable cameras, and props.
Shoving your face into a cake is good for your soul.
If you get a chance to party with a unicorn, take it.
Own objects that aren’t to scale, like giant inflatable ice cream cones and miniature plastic typewriters.
Weekends should be an extension of your partying, not the only thing you look forward to.
Blow out the candles, but then re-light them.
Add sunglasses and googly eyes to your party decorations and pets.
Use kitchen appliances to prepare confetti.
Throw a paper star across the room to make a wish. Wait for nothing; not even space.
Jump on every bed you come across.
Your metamorphosis is never over.
You’re fancy as fuck.
If someone calls something you do “tacky”, you’re doing it right.
Clear is a color, and it allows you to see everything.
Popping a balloon with your butt is foreplay.


PS – Here’s a bonus video of last night’s glow stick dance party rave. If you pay attention, you’ll see a little Bug cameo.


Care to share any life party tips of your own?