Why Low Self-Esteem is a Downward Spiral

Why Low Self-Esteem is a Downward Spiral | Uncustomary

Low self-esteem is a common problem. We all have days when we look in the mirror and think “Eurgh!” or some stranger fat-shames us after we post a beach photo on Instagram. A few bad days here and there are normal. Nobody is resistant to the pressures of modern life, particularly in the age of social media. Yet for some people, low self-esteem becomes a way of life. They don’t bounce back after a hurtful comment. Instead, they dwell on every negative thing anyone ever told them. Soon, every day becomes an endless cycle of “no, I can’t do that” or “everyone hates me”.

Self-hate is an insidious thing. It ruins lives and ensures you never live up to your potential. Confident men and women apply for jobs they know they can do, even when the job description includes skills they might not have. Confident people end up in healthy relationships with well-adjusted partners.

It is a different story for people with low self-esteem. They are far more likely to stick in low-income jobs and put up with abusive partners because a significant part of them believes this is all they deserve. The problem with having low self-esteem is that it causes other problems. People who hate themselves often end up with alcohol and drug problems, in abusive relationships and dead-end jobs. Their life is not a happy one.

Causes of Low Self-Esteem

There are many causes of low self-esteem. A difficult upbringing characterized by emotionally distant or abusive parents is a factor, but even kids raised by loving parents can end up feeling unworthy of love after a few bad experiences. Instability can also lead to low self-worth, so if you lose your job or a partner walks out, it is common to conclude that it’s all your fault – even when it clearly isn’t your fault.

The only way to avoid the downward spiral of self-hate is to work on your self-esteem. As anyone who has attended a drug or alcohol rehab program knows, unless you learn to love yourself, nothing will ever change.

Boost Your Self-Esteem

You are not going to change the way you think overnight, so start by doing a bit of self-analysis to see where your problems lie. Are you obsessed with being slim or are you overly sensitive when someone criticizes you? Many people with low self-esteem are people pleasers. They take on other people’s problems without giving any thought to their own health and wellness. If this sounds like you, it is time for a change.

You are Amazing!

Each morning, when you look in the mirror, take a deep breath and tell your reflection you are amazing. Each time your brain conjures up a negative thought, put a positive spin on that thought. Instead of beating yourself up over eating a second donut, resolve to walk for an extra ten minutes after work.

Nobody is perfect and you need to realize that. Be kind to yourself and remember that you have plenty of unique talents. If others can’t see that, they don’t deserve to be in your life!