Babe, The Only Diet You Need Is A Mirror Diet
You’re watching a TV show, and during the break you see a commercial for hair dye to “hide your greys”. You’re sitting on the subway car, and across from you is a poster plastered on the wall reminding you that you can “lose weight fast” with this pill. You’re scrolling through social media and see images telling you what’s fashionable right now, how to delay age marks like wrinkles, and the nine steps you need to take every day to get the “perfect butt”.
The amount of companies in this world that make their fortunes by telling us what is wrong with our bodies is insane. These corporations prey on the insecurities they caused in the first place by providing us ointments, garments, and machines that will make us beautiful. They tell us we’re flawed, they tell us how to fix it, they get rich. It’s fucked up.
We see images of unattainable bodies all over the place, and by unattainable I truly mean that. For a long time, I thought what people meant by that was that most people can’t look that good. No. The celebrities you see on that cover spread? She’s airbrushed into oblivion. They change their shape, their complexion. They make boobs bigger and acne disappear. It’s become news when women are featured in magazines who have not been photoshopped. Shouldn’t it be the other way around?
Let me tell you something. YOU. ARE. BEAUTIFUL. Yes. Is that weird to see? Have you not heard that today, or even this week yet? Well, you are. You don’t hear it enough, even though it’s true. In fact, it seems like everywhere we look we’re hearing the exact opposite. You don’t need to get your hair lasered off, you don’t need to lay in a tanning bed once a week, and you don’t need to go on a diet. In fact, babe, the only diet you need is a Mirror Diet.
What do I mean by a Mirror Diet? I mean cutting back on looking in the mirror, decreasing the level of effort you give to caring about how you appear to others. Nick Offerman said it best, “The mirror should be a maintenance tool”. Yes, it’s important to care about how you look and are presenting yourself to the world! I think that fashion, make-up, and hair styles are an amazing way to express your individuality and character, but that doesn’t mean you need to check your reflection twenty times a day.
Get dressed for the day and make sure you’re happy with how you look, then let that shit go! Enjoy your life. Can you see how you look when you’re on a roller coaster or having sex? (Well, I guess those might be bad examples because you can make a sex tape or buy that overpriced photo after you get off the ride at Six Flags…) The most exciting things we do, the emotions we feel have nothing to do with our appearance. You can actually have an amazing day without mascara in sweatpants. Groundbreaking stuff, I know.
If a beauty regiment makes you feel good about yourself, then by all means do it! I’m not telling anyone how to live their life or how to spend their money. What I do want you to do, is examine why you’re practicing these regimes. Is it something that makes you feel good, or is it because it gets you closer to someone else’s ideal of perfection? If you really want to spend hundreds of dollars on an elaborate product or procedure, then DO IT. I don’t want to be judged on how much money I spend on confetti or postage (actually, I don’t even want to know the actual figures of those things), and I don’t judge you either. My intent here is to only make you take a second look at why you do the things you do and buy the things you buy.
In this world, loving and appreciating yourself the way you already are is a revolution. The more time you spend with your naked self, the more comfortable you will become with it. I mean that literally, by the way. When I was a kid I demanded Naked Time, and there would be an hour every day where my parents would strip off my diaper/clothes and let me run around nude. Do it like, once a week. That’s all you need. Take a shower and scrub your make-up and hair products off, then just be in your birthday suit for a bit. Sit at your desk, lay in your bed, make a sandwich. It doesn’t matter. Just the act of being alone with yourself will promote your confidence and the love you have for yourself will grow. The same thing goes for just being without make-up in public.
Remember that your mind, your experiences, your values are what make you who you are. The weird way you cut your food and your genius expertise on the subject of botany are WAY more interesting than what you look like in photos. You were always beautiful, and that’s not going to change. Love yourself, and rock that shit.
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