Happiness is the American dream, but it’s also a worldwide goal. At their core, almost everyone desires to be a happy person. Unfortunately, as many people want to live a genuinely happy life, they have no idea how to go about getting one or they make a lot of mistakes trying to get there.
What are some mistakes people make while trying to be happy?
1. Looking for short term solutions
We’re impatient and we want quick fixes… now! Quick fixes are addicting, but they’re also short term solutions that won’t ever address the root of any issues we’re actually dealing with. Pleasure is important, but that doesn’t mean it’s the only thing we should be making time for!
2. Focusing on spikes of euphoric joy instead of consistent happiness and contentment
In addition to short term solutions, we think that fits of pleasure, mania, or euphoria mean you’re a happy person. The reality is giant mood spikes, in either direction on the spectrum, are unhealthy. The goal for a healthy life is to be consistently content and satisfied with your current circumstances and self worth.
3. Filling their life with material items that make them feel good
Money doesn’t buy love or happiness. It can buy one of those aforementioned temporary moments of euphoria, but nothing more. It’s great to have nice things, things that make you smile, and things that make your life easier. The reality is that once we have our basic needs met with things like shelter, food, and safety our happiness levels are comparable to someone with an income of $30,000 a year or four billion.
4. Glossing over a personal definition of happiness
Happiness is subjective. There are things we delude ourselves into thinking are happiness, but that doesn’t mean happiness isn’t different for every person! We all have different priorities, interests, and goals. When starting your journey for happiness, you need to figure out what this means for you. What’s your ideal?
5. Putting too much emphasis on finding a romantic relationship, feeling like they won’t be happy until they do
Not just romantic relationships, but anything. If you think you won’t be happy till you’re in a relationship or lose fifty pounds is a set up for failure. Happiness is intrinsic, and you should be able to find joy in your life without a companion and at any size.
6. Constantly thinking about their pursuit of happiness instead of being able to enjoy the moment
If you’re always worrying about making things better or figuring out how to be a happy person, you can lose sight of the current moment! Being mindful of your present experience is vital for being happy.
7. Focusing on improvement while never making time for acceptance
Self love is a huge key to happiness, and part of that is accepting who you are right now in this present moment. That doesn’t mean you can’t work on improving things, but you have to be able to love and accept yourself in the process.
8. Letting failures define us or set us back
You’re always going to make mistakes, have mental health setbacks, and have life pop up in unexpected ways over and over again. Your failures don’t define you, they educate you and provide you with experience for future adventures and successes.
9. Neglecting to ask for help when we need it
Getting assistance with anything in life doesn’t mean you’ve failed. Everything takes a village, and you demonstrate strength when you ask for help. Don’t try to start your happiness journey alone! You need support.
10. Stubbornness to step out of our comfort zone or to only live outside it
There are plenty of inspirational posters that tell us we can only have “the magic” when we operate outside our comfort zone. This isn’t true. While having experiences out of your comfort zone can provide insight, inspiration, and adventure that leads to happiness and success, that’s not the only way. There are plenty of things within our comfort zone that provide us with consistent satisfaction and joy. That said, never leaving your comfort zone isn’t a good idea either. Balance, balance, balance.
To keep things simple, I’ve come up with a list of the 10 Commandments Of Happiness. Want to download it and print it out to stick on your wall? Click below to get it for free!
My e-course Self Love: The Key To Happiness throws all these myths and mistakes in the trash. I believe happiness starts with self love, and by building up your self worth, confidence, and esteem you can begin to have the rest of your life fall into place. Happiness starts with self love, and it’s not a natural state of mind. I want to help you fall in love with yourself.
What mistakes have you made or seen people make when it comes to the pursuit of happiness?
It is so hard to not let the negatives interfere with our happiness. It is best to always learn from them an move on.
Absolutely agree. It’s one of truest “easier said than done” things about life, though.
Some of the mistakes I’ve noticed are (constant) complaining (and in general negative (self-)talk), but also complain/talk without doing anything to improve the situation. It may have happened from time to time while listening to friends do an overload in complaining that I’ve asked “why don’t you do anything about it, instead of just talking about it?”.
I hope I don’t seem like a cynical bastard for saying something like that to friends, but I know by own experience that sometimes (not always) it could be beneficial to get a kick a certain place and do something to improve whatever.
I actually agree with you for the most part. I think it’s important to be supportive and sympathetic to our friends because we know what we’d want if we were in their situation, but as friends it’s also our job to help find solutions. If someone (constantly) chooses to wallow instead of looking for solutions it can be really difficult to keep a positive, healthy relationship with that person. I think we should be kind when we phrase these things, but sometimes we all need a kick in the butt!
Love everything you have to say in this post. Also just completed your e course on gratitude. Very good, thank you!
Thanks Ena! I’m glad you enjoyed it! 🙂 I also have a free one on mindfulness if you’re interested.
Excellent! I might check it out after summer holidays. Thank you!
You’re welcome, Ena!
Enjoy your posts. Gives me pause to think of Me. Here is a smile 😊 thanks. Di (my knickname). 😘
Happily Dapilly Summer Solstice Birthday to you! xo
Thank you for sharing this great post. Welcome to our academic essay writing services such as the child’s metacognitive development. and many more